1
00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:08,383
[opening theme music playing]

2
00:00:10,100 --> 00:00:11,637
[man] Hey!

3
00:00:26,485 --> 00:00:30,572
[Zøg yelling] Help!

4
00:00:30,656 --> 00:00:32,991
How is it that nobody can hear me?

5
00:00:33,750 --> 00:00:35,410
I'm the loudest guy in Dreamland.

6
00:00:35,953 --> 00:00:39,414
I know you're up there!
I can hear you tiptoein' around!

7
00:00:39,498 --> 00:00:40,457
[squeaks]

8
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:45,450
Oh, it's no use. I'm trapped.

9
00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:49,424
Ah, jeez! Why'd I drink a gallon of water
before I got in the coffin?

10
00:00:49,508 --> 00:00:52,219
And then another gallon
while I was in the coffin?

11
00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:53,762
And I'm still thirsty!

12
00:00:53,845 --> 00:00:59,810
Oh, Pendergast, you were my only hope.
Now you're dead and just a Penderghost.

13
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:04,273
Wait a minute. Turbish and Mertz
know the plan. They'll save me.

14
00:01:06,358 --> 00:01:09,690
Hey, Mertz, did we forget something?

15
00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:12,300
Weren't we supposed
to meet someone right about now?

16
00:01:12,614 --> 00:01:14,533
[Mertz's mom sighs] Not again.

17
00:01:15,117 --> 00:01:20,205
[singing] ♪ Depressing birthday to you
Depressing birthday to you ♪

18
00:01:20,289 --> 00:01:21,373
[blows]

19
00:01:21,957 --> 00:01:24,418
Oh, who am I foolin',
waitin' on those yutzes?

20
00:01:24,501 --> 00:01:26,628
I gotta figure out
how to escape on my own.

21
00:01:26,712 --> 00:01:29,464
Lucky I brought a figurin'-out cigar.

22
00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:32,551
[sucking]

23
00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:34,520
[coughing]

24
00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:36,513
[groans]

25
00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:39,308
I just figured out this was a bad idea.

26
00:01:39,891 --> 00:01:42,144
It's quiet. Maybe they're making up.

27
00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:44,271
Are we even listening to the same door?

28
00:01:44,354 --> 00:01:46,315
[Bean screams] Run!

29
00:01:47,691 --> 00:01:50,736
My mom's not just messing with heads,
she's eating them.

30
00:01:52,290 --> 00:01:53,113
-Oh, Bean.
-[Bean gasps]

31
00:01:53,196 --> 00:01:55,490
Running from your mother is so last year.

32
00:01:55,574 --> 00:01:57,492
Elfo's more of a mother to me than you!

33
00:01:57,576 --> 00:02:01,496
Oh, this ruins so many fantasies
but opens up so many new ones.

34
00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:03,999
-[gasps]
-[Elfo and Luci grunt]

35
00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:06,710
[gasps]

36
00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:07,878
Ha!

37
00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:11,256
They can't get to us.
[panting] We can take a breather.

38
00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:14,843
Hey, Bug Eyes, how you like this moon?

39
00:02:14,926 --> 00:02:16,470
[Trøgs grunting]

40
00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:19,890
[Luci] Ruh-roh.

41
00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:23,226
What the… [gasps]

42
00:02:25,620 --> 00:02:26,813
-[Bean panting]
-[Luci gibbers]

43
00:02:26,897 --> 00:02:27,898
[Elfo whimpering]

44
00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:29,733
[Bean panting]

45
00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:32,653
-Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
-[Trøgs yelping]

46
00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:34,404
[Bean] Your face, sorry, sorry.

47
00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:37,657
[Trøg] Anybody remember
how we get out of this?

48
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:39,993
[gasps]

49
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:46,410
Ugh!

50
00:02:47,376 --> 00:02:49,440
[Dagmar] Oh, good, you found the dungeon.

51
00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:51,296
Whoa!

52
00:02:51,380 --> 00:02:53,924
You know, it's a shame
it had to end up this way.

53
00:02:54,700 --> 00:02:56,426
-I really do love you.
-Then set me free.

54
00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:58,530
[scoffs] Not that much.

55
00:02:58,136 --> 00:03:01,390
Actually, pretending to care
about your feelings was exhausting.

56
00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:04,309
[gasps] And I no longer
have to call you "darling."

57
00:03:04,393 --> 00:03:08,313
Great. How about you also stop calling me
"honey," "sweetie" and "disappointment"?

58
00:03:08,397 --> 00:03:10,857
-Have it your way, fat-arse.
-Flat-ass!

59
00:03:10,941 --> 00:03:12,567
-Elf diddler!
-Skull sucker!

60
00:03:12,651 --> 00:03:14,778
-Destiny denier!
-Prophecy hag!

61
00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:15,695
Squirrel face!

62
00:03:15,779 --> 00:03:19,699
Well, at least I don't have
a small waist and long legs! [sighs]

63
00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:21,701
Yeah, you should slump.

64
00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,708
[Zøg grunting]

65
00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,460
Somebody let me out of here!

66
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:35,715
I'm too young to be buried in a coffin
and too old to get out of it on my own.

67
00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:37,426
[grunting]

68
00:03:40,950 --> 00:03:44,683
Okay, Zøg, get a hold of yourself.
You're not gonna die immediately.

69
00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:47,602
You're just gonna be
in this little box for all eternity,

70
00:03:47,686 --> 00:03:50,313
where you can't breathe
or move or scratch.

71
00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:55,110
[grunts] And I got itches comin'! Oh, no,
they're here. In all the worst places!

72
00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:56,778
[grunting]

73
00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:03,577
[sighs]

74
00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:10,333
Man, what is this, like, the fourth time
we've been imprisoned against our will?

75
00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:12,752
Fifth, if you count
Elfo's xylophone recital.

76
00:04:12,836 --> 00:04:15,630
-Off, that was a long night.
-Hey.

77
00:04:17,841 --> 00:04:19,718
-[chains rattling]
-[gasps]

78
00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:22,262
There's somebody in here.
Bean, do what you do best.

79
00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:24,681
Take your mommy issues out
on someone else.

80
00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:29,144
[grunts] Ow!

81
00:04:29,895 --> 00:04:31,897
[gasps] Oh, it's just Leavo.

82
00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:35,901
[scoffs] "Just Leavo"?
This is Leavo, as in,

83
00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:37,903
"Speak no more of Leavo, Speako."

84
00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:39,613
Uh, I don't know Speako.

85
00:04:39,696 --> 00:04:44,409
Leavo, as in, dread pirate Leavo!
He beat me up, remember?

86
00:04:44,493 --> 00:04:46,360
Oh, yeah. [chuckles]

87
00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:48,497
So, Leavo, what you in for?

88
00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:53,627
It's a long story, but seeing as
you'll never get out, pull up a seat.

89
00:04:56,922 --> 00:04:59,174
Thank God we found that Zøg look-alike.

90
00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:03,178
Once we know the real one's dead for sure,
we can start Phase Two.

91
00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:06,181
This is the sinister plot
that just keeps giving.

92
00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:09,893
As long as the boy doesn't start
asking impertinent questions.

93
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:11,520
-[Derek] What's "impertinent" mean?
-[both gasp]

94
00:05:11,603 --> 00:05:13,647
Derek, I didn't see you there.

95
00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:16,441
That's 'cause I crept up
on my little cat feet.

96
00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:18,985
They're made from the feet
of sixteen actual cats.

97
00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:23,698
So, may I see my father?
I brought him some soup to cheer his soul.

98
00:05:23,782 --> 00:05:28,203
Souls are meant for damnation, not soup!
Oh, whatever, get in there.

99
00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:33,667
But don't get too close, Derek.
Death is contagious.

100
00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:34,709
[Walrus chuckles]

101
00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:36,837
[whispering] Sixteen cat feet.

102
00:05:39,965 --> 00:05:44,177
Father, I brought you
your favorite meal, food!

103
00:05:44,261 --> 00:05:49,349
I'll just put it here by your bed.
I love you, Father.

104
00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:51,170
[Walrus grunts]

105
00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:53,478
We're fooling him so good.

106
00:05:53,562 --> 00:05:56,273
Fooling foolish fools is so satisfying.

107
00:05:59,109 --> 00:06:01,270
[vocalizing]

108
00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:06,740
Here we are, my boy. Go in, that's right.

109
00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:08,994
Get the hell in there. Safe and sound.

110
00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:12,455
If something happens to you,
the kingdom would be without a ruler.

111
00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:13,957
We don't want that, do we?

112
00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:16,876
But then they could set up
a socialist utopia--

113
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:21,600
Oh, my, you've already become delirious.
You'd best get to beddy-bye, sire.

114
00:06:21,890 --> 00:06:23,133
I'm not tired. You wanna play with me?

115
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:27,178
You could be my new friend,
since my dad is so sick he grew tusks.

116
00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:29,180
Then, I'd have two friends.
Counting myself.

117
00:06:29,264 --> 00:06:33,268
Okay, I really must go.
It's Mertz's mom's birthday.

118
00:06:33,351 --> 00:06:37,856
Impressive. Imprisoning a king
in his room like a common criminal.

119
00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:40,275
[chuckles] Oh, that's delightfully craven.

120
00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:42,235
I don't deserve your praise.

121
00:06:42,319 --> 00:06:46,531
Derek loves being confined in his room.
He even locks himself in.

122
00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:48,408
[locks clicking]

123
00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:50,994
[Derek] Yay! I'm Bedroom Boy!

124
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:53,747
[Merkimer] Sad.

125
00:06:58,126 --> 00:06:59,210
[groans]

126
00:07:02,500 --> 00:07:04,215
And there I was, minding my own business,

127
00:07:04,299 --> 00:07:06,885
rummaging through their treasures,
when the Trøgs nabbed me.

128
00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:10,513
They tried to get me to talk,
and I tried to get them to blink.

129
00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:13,580
Both of us failed.
Then they locked me in here.

130
00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:16,353
Why would they lock you up?
You're puny and irritating just like them.

131
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:19,939
It was the big lady with the white hair.
The one who looks like her.

132
00:07:20,230 --> 00:07:21,316
They do whatever she tells them,

133
00:07:21,399 --> 00:07:23,777
like she's some kind
of voluptuous goddess.

134
00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:25,111
I can't blame 'em.

135
00:07:25,195 --> 00:07:28,448
That's one fine lady
I wouldn't leave-o. [chuckles]

136
00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:30,867
Okay, I get it. I have a hot mom.

137
00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:32,827
Are you gonna wipe your drool
and help me or not?

138
00:07:32,911 --> 00:07:35,664
Uh, if you wanted help,
you should've found Helpo.

139
00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:37,666
Oh, wait, he died trying to help me.

140
00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:39,876
[breathing heavily]

141
00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:44,890
[scratching]

142
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:52,597
I don't know how much longer
I can take this. I'm gonna die.

143
00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:55,809
On the bright side,
I'm gonna see all my dead relatives.

144
00:07:55,892 --> 00:08:00,605
Wait! I killed most of them. Oh, no!

145
00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:04,776
-[clanging]
-Help! Help us! Somebody, help! Help us!

146
00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:08,363
Luci! Stop making that racket.
I will shank you.

147
00:08:08,446 --> 00:08:09,989
Prison's changed you, Bean.

148
00:08:10,730 --> 00:08:12,951
Wanna be even more annoyed?
I can fit through the bars.

149
00:08:13,340 --> 00:08:14,494
[blabbers]

150
00:08:21,376 --> 00:08:22,419
Ow, my nose!

151
00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:24,713
You got a visitor, bub.

152
00:08:26,548 --> 00:08:27,382
[Luci] Yikes.

153
00:08:28,700 --> 00:08:29,968
-[door closes]
-Hiya, Elfo!

154
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:33,930
Ugh! Trixy. What do you want?
Can't you see I'm busy?

155
00:08:34,140 --> 00:08:38,351
I brought something to help you escape.
It's inside the cake, ding-dong.

156
00:08:39,728 --> 00:08:41,396
Hurry, Elfo. Get through the icing.

157
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:45,316
Uh, what the hell is this?

158
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,152
[Trixy] It's me. Naked.

159
00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:49,654
I thought you said
this was gonna help me escape.

160
00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:51,720
I meant, mentally.

161
00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:53,241
Yeah, no, thanks.

162
00:08:53,324 --> 00:08:54,868
Ugh, screw this.

163
00:08:54,951 --> 00:08:57,120
-[grunts]
-Let me go, bub.

164
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:58,538
-Luci!
-I'm on it.

165
00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:03,126
Ow! Hey! Stop it, bub!

166
00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:08,600
Elfo, punch his kidneys. Elfo!
Spit out that frosting and get over here.

167
00:09:08,890 --> 00:09:09,716
Oh, sorry.

168
00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:13,178
Every single time, it's cake with you.
It's not even good cake.

169
00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:15,889
[grunting and groaning] Hey!

170
00:09:17,150 --> 00:09:18,558
Ta-da!

171
00:09:23,938 --> 00:09:26,441
Bean's dead. Daddy's gonna die.

172
00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:29,694
And New Mommy and New Daddy
"need a break" from me

173
00:09:29,778 --> 00:09:32,363
because I'm "extremely grating."

174
00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:34,908
There's only one thing left to do…

175
00:09:36,951 --> 00:09:39,370
hide under my bed.

176
00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:40,580
Hey, what's this?

177
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:44,209
[blows and coughs]

178
00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:51,341
"Son, someday this book
might help you like it helped me

179
00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:54,344
when I was a scared little boy
hiding under my bed…"

180
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:59,474
"…just like you are probably right now.
Love, yer dad."

181
00:09:59,557 --> 00:10:02,310
Aw, he spelled it "yer."

182
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:04,771
"The Royal Log."

183
00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:06,731
"From Agøgg to Zøg."

184
00:10:06,815 --> 00:10:10,276
"A Secret History
of the Kings of Dreamland."

185
00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:12,111
Oh.

186
00:10:12,195 --> 00:10:14,781
"Agogg, Dreamland's first king."

187
00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:19,452
"He used his opposable thumbs to break
the thumbs of those who opposed him."

188
00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:24,791
"Bøg the Paranoid."
"Died alone, surrounded by enemies."

189
00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:28,169
"Crøg the Conspicuous." Yow.

190
00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:31,500
[gasps]

191
00:10:31,890 --> 00:10:35,718
Why is a chunk torn out? "Cursed"? Oh, no.

192
00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:36,886
-[door opens]
-[gasps]

193
00:10:37,554 --> 00:10:39,848
Derek? What have you got there?

194
00:10:39,931 --> 00:10:41,933
Uh, smut?

195
00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:49,230
Okay, Leavo. This is a real jailbreak.
Let's skedoodle.

196
00:10:49,107 --> 00:10:52,151
No, I can't leave.
And I believe it's pronounced "skedaddle."

197
00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:55,572
-But you can't just stay down here.
-Sure, he can. Let's go.

198
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:58,491
Oh, my God, are you serious?
Skedoodle, skedaddle, who cares?

199
00:10:58,575 --> 00:11:04,380
Nay, comrades, I must remain,
continuing my secret mission, underground,

200
00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:06,499
searching for the lost kingdom
of the elves, which I--

201
00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:09,502
Hey. They left before I could finish.

202
00:11:10,253 --> 00:11:12,171
So that's what it feels like.

203
00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:15,216
[mimicking echo] Oh, my God,
God, God, God, God.

204
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:18,761
I'm descending into madness, madness,

205
00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,930
madness, madness, madness, madness,

206
00:11:21,140 --> 00:11:24,851
madness, madness, madness,
madness, madness, madness.

207
00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:26,561
[blabbers]

208
00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:35,528
I always wanted
to get lost in a labyrinth.

209
00:11:35,612 --> 00:11:37,447
It's like a puzzle
you solve with your feet.

210
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:38,990
Hey, what's that light ahead?

211
00:11:39,730 --> 00:11:41,618
It's a way out…
of this idiotic conversation.

212
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:44,412
Lava? Who just keeps lava lying around?

213
00:11:44,495 --> 00:11:46,800
It's no use. We're stuck.

214
00:11:46,164 --> 00:11:49,420
God, why is Mom so obsessed with me?

215
00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:50,710
She makes me so angry,

216
00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:53,922
I just wanna squeeze
and stab and subjugate people.

217
00:11:54,500 --> 00:11:56,174
Mmm-hmm. Remind you of anyone, Elfo?

218
00:11:56,257 --> 00:11:59,302
Uh, let me see. White hair, purty face,

219
00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:04,265
stubborn, prone to violence.
No, no, not ringin' a bell at all.

220
00:12:04,349 --> 00:12:06,351
-[both laughing]
-[laughs sarcastically]

221
00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:08,811
Okay, jerks. I'll admit it.

222
00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:13,240
Dagmar and I are a teeny,
kinda, sorta similar.

223
00:12:13,107 --> 00:12:14,984
-Wait, that's it!
-Don't hit me.

224
00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:17,946
I know how we can get out of here.
Follow me.

225
00:12:18,947 --> 00:12:20,406
Ugh, she's so bossy.

226
00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:23,576
What are you looking at?
Start walkin'! Come on, move it!

227
00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:25,328
Help, help, help.

228
00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:27,330
[blabbering]

229
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:34,921
[shushes]

230
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:36,464
[Dagmar snoring]

231
00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:40,385
[whispering] She's sleeping.
We gotta be quiet.

232
00:12:47,580 --> 00:12:48,170
[grunts]

233
00:12:48,810 --> 00:12:50,603
Oh, there you are.

234
00:12:50,687 --> 00:12:53,231
I'm ready for my evening massage, Caresso.

235
00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:55,942
[mouthing]

236
00:12:56,250 --> 00:12:57,360
[Dagmar] Get over here.

237
00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:08,496
You know I don't like to wait.
But you do know what I like.

238
00:13:08,579 --> 00:13:09,497
[Elfo gulps]

239
00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:16,337
[Dagmar] Oh, yes. Yeah.

240
00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:19,340
-Oh, that's good. Right there.
-[Luci] Hey!

241
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:27,890
[whimpering]

242
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:31,352
Caresso, stop panting.

243
00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:32,854
Oh, my God.

244
00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:35,398
[grunts and coughs]

245
00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:40,280
This is it. I'm running out of air.

246
00:13:40,111 --> 00:13:41,154
[breathing heavily]

247
00:13:41,237 --> 00:13:42,822
I'm gonna die for real.

248
00:13:44,615 --> 00:13:46,534
At least I'm in a coffin, God damn it.

249
00:13:47,577 --> 00:13:50,371
Goodbye, Beanie. Goodbye, Derek.

250
00:13:51,289 --> 00:13:52,582
I love you both.

251
00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:54,542
Goodbye, Vip…

252
00:13:55,209 --> 00:13:58,212
Vap, I'll see you in Hell.

253
00:13:58,296 --> 00:14:01,507
Goodbye, Dreamland. Sorry I was so loud.

254
00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:04,719
Sorry I never went out with a human.

255
00:14:05,595 --> 00:14:10,224
Most of all…
I wish I was a better king. I…

256
00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:11,934
[gasping]

257
00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:14,687
[exhales deeply]

258
00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:21,360
Whoa!

259
00:14:21,444 --> 00:14:22,528
[grunting]

260
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,534
[screaming]

261
00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:32,872
[all screaming]

262
00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:37,710
I'm dead. I'm dead
and I'm in Hell. I'm in Hell!

263
00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:39,504
[grunting]

264
00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:44,884
[blabbers]

265
00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:50,598
Yeesh. I didn't order a king.

266
00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:53,309
Derek has found a special book

267
00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:55,937
and is afraid it says
his family is cursed.

268
00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:58,106
Oh, books lie all the time.

269
00:14:58,189 --> 00:14:59,482
If I believed a word of this,

270
00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:02,680
I'd be a quivering mass
of boneheaded jelly.

271
00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:04,946
Speaking of, it's almost time
for quivering mass. Now run along!

272
00:15:05,290 --> 00:15:08,449
Go wait in your churchy throne
like a good little ruler.

273
00:15:09,784 --> 00:15:12,245
Secret book of kings.

274
00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:15,289
[gasps] Someone's torn out the pages.
You don't think--

275
00:15:15,373 --> 00:15:19,168
If someone else is plotting without us,
I will be really miffed.

276
00:15:20,860 --> 00:15:21,337
[screaming]

277
00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:23,589
Hell is so fast!

278
00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:25,842
[yelps]

279
00:15:26,676 --> 00:15:28,678
And painful. [grunting]

280
00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:31,180
[blabbers]

281
00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:33,558
[Dagmar moaning]

282
00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:40,606
Right, on your feet.

283
00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:42,942
[exhales sharply]

284
00:15:43,250 --> 00:15:44,235
[clears throat]

285
00:15:44,318 --> 00:15:45,444
[chuckles nervously]

286
00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:48,573
Hmm. [grunts]

287
00:15:49,407 --> 00:15:50,992
-[Dagmar moaning]
-[grunting]

288
00:15:58,457 --> 00:16:01,127
Slip and slide, baby! Slip and slide!

289
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:05,890
Oh, yes! Oh, yes!

290
00:16:05,173 --> 00:16:06,924
-Right, you can stop.
-Aw.

291
00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:13,890
-Thank you, Elfo.
-[gasps and gulps]

292
00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:25,985
[Bean] Ugh.

293
00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:29,447
Aren't boots supposed to bend at the knee?
This is never gonna work!

294
00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:31,908
I should've made Elfo do it.
He's played Dagmar before.

295
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:35,661
Hey, hey! Psst, psst. Down here.
Cons are all about confidence.

296
00:16:35,745 --> 00:16:38,915
I know you can do this.
I watched you march right into Hell.

297
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:42,100
And badass Bean
is the Bean I wanna see right now.

298
00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:44,879
You're right! I am badass! [grunting]

299
00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:48,257
[groans]

300
00:16:53,763 --> 00:16:55,890
-[groans]
-Uh-oh.

301
00:16:56,474 --> 00:16:58,184
-[whispering] Say something.
-Um…

302
00:16:58,893 --> 00:17:00,478
Hey, how's it goin'? [chuckles]

303
00:17:01,562 --> 00:17:04,230
[whispering] No, like Dagmar, you rube!

304
00:17:04,106 --> 00:17:07,944
Oh. Right. Hello… Wait. [chuckles]

305
00:17:08,270 --> 00:17:12,990
[imitating Dagmar] Hello, darlings.
How doth it go with y'all?

306
00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:15,952
[whispering] Really?
That's the best you got?

307
00:17:16,350 --> 00:17:19,413
Why, I was just gliding about,

308
00:17:19,497 --> 00:17:23,501
thinking of something
devilishly evil to do.

309
00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:27,255
But it's so dreadfully gloomy down here.

310
00:17:27,338 --> 00:17:31,217
You know what would be really ever so fun?

311
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:36,514
If we go up to the surface
and do something evil up there.

312
00:17:36,597 --> 00:17:40,351
But I can't seem to remember
how to find the stairs

313
00:17:40,434 --> 00:17:44,355
or the ladder or whatever
we usually use to get up there. [chuckles]

314
00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:49,819
You'd think with all the brains I eat,
I wouldn't be so forgetful.

315
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:50,903
[chuckles]

316
00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:53,656
[laughs] Wrap it up.

317
00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:56,784
So could one of you be a dearie

318
00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:58,619
and, uh, show me the way up?

319
00:17:58,703 --> 00:18:00,790
Okie dokie, Your Highness.

320
00:18:00,162 --> 00:18:03,457
[in normal voice] It's working.
Maybe I am a lot like my mother.

321
00:18:03,541 --> 00:18:05,584
[imitating Dagmar] Thank you, suck-up.

322
00:18:05,668 --> 00:18:08,921
Where are you trying to be from?
I'm sorry, I can't place that accent.

323
00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:10,590
All right, let's go.

324
00:18:10,673 --> 00:18:12,591
[in normal voice]
We can't leave without Elfo.

325
00:18:12,675 --> 00:18:16,304
[imitating Dagmar]
Now, where is that little green bugger?

326
00:18:16,387 --> 00:18:18,514
He's right here.

327
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:24,200
Bean, I love your new look.

328
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,897
She's an impostor. I am the real Dagmar.

329
00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:29,400
-[gasping]
-She's lying. [stutters]

330
00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:34,530
[imitating Dagmar]
I'm obviously the real Dagmar, you twits!

331
00:18:34,613 --> 00:18:37,658
-I don't sound like that.
-I don't sound like that.

332
00:18:37,742 --> 00:18:39,160
-Do I?
-Do I?

333
00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:41,787
-That imitation is terrible.
-Oh, you're terrible.

334
00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:43,789
-How dare you, Bean!
-How dare you, Bean!

335
00:18:43,873 --> 00:18:47,840
-No, you're Bean.
-Who's Bean? I'm Dagmar.

336
00:18:47,168 --> 00:18:48,294
You're the Bean.

337
00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:50,460
-[Dagmar] Bean's the worst.
-Bean's the worst.

338
00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:52,600
-Bean's the worst.
-Bean is the worst.

339
00:18:52,890 --> 00:18:55,843
Well, no makeup could cover up
those freckles, darling, so…

340
00:18:55,926 --> 00:18:59,305
Well, you've still got
brain goo on your mouth.

341
00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:01,891
-Ridiculous accent.
-You're the Bean.

342
00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:03,893
I am so confused right now.

343
00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:06,312
You're a disappointment of a daughter.

344
00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:10,733
[stutters] Oh, yeah? Well, I'm your mother
and I have to love you.

345
00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:13,903
But I don't like you, darling.

346
00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:16,113
When you were little,
I tried to poison your father,

347
00:19:16,197 --> 00:19:21,202
but I should have poisoned you instead,
because all you do is mess things up.

348
00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:23,287
I didn't even want a child.

349
00:19:23,371 --> 00:19:27,458
I just had you to fulfill a prophecy,
and now I'm a jealous,

350
00:19:27,541 --> 00:19:31,379
manipulative mess
because you won't do what I say! Ow!

351
00:19:31,462 --> 00:19:35,341
At least I know how to complete something,
unlike my daughter,

352
00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:39,530
who never finished anything in her life
other than a pint of beer.

353
00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:42,431
-I'm not sure how this is helping.
-They're just being really hurtful.

354
00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:47,103
If I weren't the real Dagmar,
would I say this?

355
00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:49,271
I never loved you.

356
00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:50,689
[Trøgs gasping]

357
00:19:51,816 --> 00:19:53,734
I… I…

358
00:19:55,111 --> 00:19:59,281
It's settled. She is the real Dagmar.
Seize the impostor.

359
00:19:59,365 --> 00:20:00,950
[Zøg blabbering]

360
00:20:01,330 --> 00:20:05,413
Dagmar? What are you doing in Hell?
And other Dagmar, same question.

361
00:20:05,496 --> 00:20:07,456
-[in normal voice] Dad?
-"Dad"?

362
00:20:08,666 --> 00:20:10,209
How did you get down here?

363
00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:15,500
[imitating Dagmar] Um, did I say "Dad"?
I meant "husband."

364
00:20:15,890 --> 00:20:16,340
Noice.

365
00:20:16,424 --> 00:20:17,508
[indistinct chatter]

366
00:20:17,591 --> 00:20:20,761
I know you're not Bean, just a demon
that's been sent to torture me,

367
00:20:20,845 --> 00:20:23,970
but that's kinda what
I thought about you anyway,

368
00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:25,224
so you're okay by me, demon.

369
00:20:25,307 --> 00:20:27,893
You know what? I'm gonna call you Beamon.

370
00:20:27,977 --> 00:20:30,187
[sighs] It's been a long day.

371
00:20:30,271 --> 00:20:32,648
[in normal voice]
I couldn't get one normal parent?

372
00:20:32,731 --> 00:20:33,983
Dad, are you okay?

373
00:20:34,660 --> 00:20:37,236
Get away from me.
I told you I was the real Dagmar.

374
00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:39,405
Take my daughter back to the dungeon.

375
00:20:39,488 --> 00:20:43,451
And as for her two friends,
throw them in the lava pit. Deep end.

376
00:20:43,534 --> 00:20:46,203
Damn! You are not mellowing with age.

377
00:20:46,287 --> 00:20:48,956
-No!
-[Trøgs grunting]

378
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:51,459
[Dagmar grunting]

379
00:20:55,870 --> 00:20:57,465
[all gasping]

380
00:20:57,548 --> 00:20:58,591
So much gasping.

381
00:20:58,674 --> 00:21:00,801
Look, the symbol.

382
00:21:01,469 --> 00:21:02,928
Not there, over there.

383
00:21:03,120 --> 00:21:04,555
[Trøgs] The symbol!

384
00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:11,103
This must mean the girl, the elf,
and the demon are the saviors.

385
00:21:11,687 --> 00:21:14,565
-[Trøgs] Welcome, saviors.
-[Bean] Saviors?

386
00:21:14,648 --> 00:21:19,690
Wait a minute.
She told us she was our savior.

387
00:21:19,153 --> 00:21:20,821
What should we do with the sexy impostor?

388
00:21:20,905 --> 00:21:24,200
-I don't care. Make her disappear forever.
-[both yell]

389
00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:26,452
-Tie her up.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

390
00:21:27,745 --> 00:21:30,289
Get your disgusting paws off me.

391
00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:35,961
Bean, don't do this to me.

392
00:21:38,500 --> 00:21:42,920
You know what, Mom? I used to love you,
but it was all in my head.

393
00:21:42,176 --> 00:21:44,512
And my heart. And now, those are empty.

394
00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:48,474
I'll never fall
for one of your tricks again.

395
00:21:48,557 --> 00:21:51,811
Bean, at least give me my crown.
It really doesn't suit you.

396
00:21:51,894 --> 00:21:55,231
Fine, I crown thee Queen of Lies.

397
00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:57,358
-[screams]
-[laughs]

398
00:22:00,736 --> 00:22:02,863
Ugh! She got me again.

399
00:22:02,947 --> 00:22:04,990
Man, she's got
that abandoning you thing down.

400
00:22:06,242 --> 00:22:09,245
[imitating Dagmar]
Show us the way out, darlings.

401
00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:11,800
[in normal voice] Uh, I mean,
get us out of here.

402
00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:12,414
You got it, bub.

403
00:22:13,457 --> 00:22:15,918
-Come on, Dad. Let's go.
-[groans]

404
00:22:20,256 --> 00:22:21,131
Up here.

405
00:22:21,215 --> 00:22:23,467
I ain't goin' back through there! Oh!

406
00:22:23,551 --> 00:22:26,110
Hey! [blabbers]

407
00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:33,180
Elfo! Before you go,
I've never had ladder sex before.

408
00:22:33,102 --> 00:22:35,620
Sorry, I don't have 30 seconds.

409
00:22:38,899 --> 00:22:41,569
Archdruidess, we have a problem.

410
00:22:41,652 --> 00:22:44,655
All these things ever see is a problem.

411
00:22:45,656 --> 00:22:46,699
[grunts]

412
00:22:49,340 --> 00:22:50,953
[closing theme music playing]