1
00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:08,926
[opening theme music playing]

2
00:00:10,100 --> 00:00:11,386
[man] Hey!

3
00:00:24,483 --> 00:00:26,485
If we're gonna
catch up to the Archdruidess,

4
00:00:26,568 --> 00:00:28,280
we'll need our best horses.

5
00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:29,863
Or some really fast cows.

6
00:00:29,947 --> 00:00:30,822
[Zøg babbling]

7
00:00:30,906 --> 00:00:32,157
Oh, no. Dad!

8
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:34,326
[indistinct chatter]

9
00:00:34,952 --> 00:00:37,871
Kiddo, I would love
to have you as one of my exes,

10
00:00:37,955 --> 00:00:41,667
but I think it's best
if you think of me as your slutty grandma.

11
00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:43,460
I would be honored.

12
00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:45,295
-[kisses]
-[Zøg continues babbling]

13
00:00:47,506 --> 00:00:50,926
Okay, everybody! Move along.
Haven't you seen a honking king before?

14
00:00:51,900 --> 00:00:53,470
Elfo, don't wander off.
We're outta here in 30 seconds.

15
00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:55,970
[Elfo] Hmm.

16
00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:56,765
Hey! Wedding's cancelled.

17
00:00:56,848 --> 00:01:00,310
The reception's that way.
The faster you run, the more beer you get.

18
00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:02,187
[crowd clamoring]

19
00:01:02,271 --> 00:01:03,438
[Zøg groans]

20
00:01:03,522 --> 00:01:05,357
[suspenseful music playing]

21
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,491
Mmm.

22
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:15,826
[groaning]

23
00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:18,620
[babbling]

24
00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:23,584
Dad, are you gonna be okay?
I gotta go now.

25
00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:28,422
I got Pendergast to look after me.
Maybe we'll go bowling.

26
00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:31,883
Hey, sorry for how things turned out.
But thanks for saving me.

27
00:01:31,967 --> 00:01:32,926
[babbling]

28
00:01:33,100 --> 00:01:35,178
It's the least
I could do after killing you.

29
00:01:37,973 --> 00:01:41,518
-Ooh! Lookie, a black kitty-cat.
-I told you, I'm not a cat!

30
00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:44,521
Luci, I need you to stay here
and take care of my dad.

31
00:01:44,604 --> 00:01:47,899
What? No!
No way in hell. I'm not doin' it.

32
00:01:47,983 --> 00:01:51,236
You can't make me. Not a chance. [purring]

33
00:01:52,195 --> 00:01:53,655
[moans]

34
00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:56,575
Don't even think about it.

35
00:01:56,658 --> 00:01:58,785
Ah, okay, fine.

36
00:01:58,869 --> 00:02:00,829
Would you mind wiping off my drool?

37
00:02:00,912 --> 00:02:02,331
[engine revs]

38
00:02:02,414 --> 00:02:03,749
Look what I found!

39
00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:08,378
-What? But I thought…
-You thought wrong.

40
00:02:09,460 --> 00:02:10,630
[brakes screeching]

41
00:02:19,431 --> 00:02:20,682
[engine revving]

42
00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:35,113
[grunts] What are you doin', you?

43
00:02:35,197 --> 00:02:37,741
[Elfo] Wait there! We'll be right back!

44
00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:41,995
I'm never riding a horse again!
This is the height of luxury.

45
00:02:42,790 --> 00:02:43,455
[bugs splattering]

46
00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:44,373
Yeah!

47
00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:54,633
Are we on the right path?

48
00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:56,468
-[faintly] Seconds from now--
-What?

49
00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:58,762
-[faintly] Seconds from now--
-What?

50
00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:03,160
[loudly] I said, "Seconds from now,
take a sharp right turn!"

51
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:04,309
[both scream]

52
00:03:13,777 --> 00:03:15,153
[Elfo screams]

53
00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:20,700
Are you okay, Elfo?

54
00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:23,360
Yes, but I can never have children now.

55
00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:24,496
[faint laughter]

56
00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:26,206
Hey!

57
00:03:26,289 --> 00:03:27,666
[laughter continues]

58
00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:33,213
What is that?
A large ape and an unfinished man?

59
00:03:33,296 --> 00:03:36,508
Oh! Princess Tiabeanie
and an unfinished man.

60
00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:37,759
What a surprise!

61
00:03:37,843 --> 00:03:41,721
Old man Malfus! Laughing Horse!
Malfus, maybe you can help us--

62
00:03:41,805 --> 00:03:47,102
[Malfus] It is written on the walls that
you must take this horse on your journey.

63
00:03:47,185 --> 00:03:48,895
You're writing that right now.

64
00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:51,481
Just take the ding-dang horse.

65
00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:53,567
And all his horse porn.

66
00:03:56,611 --> 00:03:59,322
Come on, boy, giddy up. Thanks, Malfus!

67
00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:01,320
[Laughing Horse laughs]

68
00:04:01,825 --> 00:04:04,536
[Malfus] Wait! You took the wrong box!

69
00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:09,291
Elfo, what are you doing? Pay attention!

70
00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:12,752
Oh, sorry, Bean. I'm reading
a really interesting pictorial.

71
00:04:15,464 --> 00:04:16,506
Aw!

72
00:04:19,843 --> 00:04:22,971
And the old man had a candy cane!

73
00:04:23,540 --> 00:04:25,682
-[laughs]
-[Bean groans]

74
00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:28,180
Come on, Bean! This is gold!

75
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,227
[laughs]

76
00:04:29,311 --> 00:04:31,605
Laughing Horse,
you're just encouraging him.

77
00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:34,441
Okay, okay, three elves
walk into a candy bar--

78
00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:35,817
[laughs]

79
00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:39,738
-He even laughs at the setups!
-[sighs heavily]

80
00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:45,350
What kind of weird fog is this?

81
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:48,163
My hat is drooping
and my shoes are uncurling.

82
00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:50,916
Oh, my God, Bean, I know what happened.

83
00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:54,850
We died when we fell off the cliff.
And now we're in Heaven!

84
00:04:54,169 --> 00:04:56,870
[Bean] Better than Heaven, Elfo.

85
00:04:57,506 --> 00:04:59,132
Welcome to Steamland.

86
00:05:06,932 --> 00:05:09,601
[Bean] Laughing Horse stands out
like a laughing thumb.

87
00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:11,269
We gotta leave him somewhere safe.

88
00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:18,777
Make us some money while we're away!

89
00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:19,820
[laughs]

90
00:05:20,529 --> 00:05:21,988
Giddy up, horsey!

91
00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:23,198
[groans]

92
00:05:26,284 --> 00:05:30,205
-[man 1] What's with the garden gnome?
-[man 2] Hey, lady, your kid's a freak!

93
00:05:30,288 --> 00:05:32,624
We gotta cover up those pointy ears, dude.

94
00:05:32,707 --> 00:05:34,793
I don't think
they get lots of elves around here.

95
00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:37,963
I don't think they get lots of
giant mouse teeth, either.

96
00:05:38,460 --> 00:05:41,174
Sorry, I'm a little damp and cranky.
Look at my shoes.

97
00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:43,260
[Elfo exclaims]

98
00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:47,556
Welcome, gentlemen.

99
00:05:47,639 --> 00:05:49,516
She's not a man, she's a manly lady.

100
00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:50,642
He's not a man, either.

101
00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:52,811
Don't matter to me which what way you are.

102
00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:54,479
It's pitch black in there, anyway.

103
00:05:54,563 --> 00:05:55,897
Go on, little buddy.

104
00:05:55,981 --> 00:06:01,319
And be sure not to grab someone
else's clothes on the way out, okay?

105
00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:06,449
Go!

106
00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:12,706
Oh, look at all these wallets.
People are so trusting.

107
00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:15,166
Ooh!

108
00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:18,300
Hey, Bean!

109
00:06:18,860 --> 00:06:20,880
-What took you so long?
-[grunts]

110
00:06:20,171 --> 00:06:23,592
-Unbelievable.
-Quick, before they get angry!

111
00:06:24,175 --> 00:06:25,427
Stop, thief!

112
00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:27,120
[monkey screeches]

113
00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:29,472
[pants]

114
00:06:30,765 --> 00:06:33,685
-How do I look?
-Like a wealthy potbelly stove.

115
00:06:33,768 --> 00:06:34,894
You think?

116
00:06:38,148 --> 00:06:39,107
[grunts]

117
00:06:39,649 --> 00:06:42,680
This place has a lot of moving parts,
so stick close.

118
00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:43,690
Can I hold your hand?

119
00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:44,654
That won't be necessary.

120
00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:45,905
Where are you going?

121
00:06:45,989 --> 00:06:48,241
-Away, it seems.
-Elfo!

122
00:06:48,325 --> 00:06:50,452
-Excuse me! Pardon me! One side!
-[exclaiming]

123
00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:51,620
-[brakes squealing]
-[man] Ow.

124
00:06:51,703 --> 00:06:52,662
[Archdruidess] Shaddup!

125
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:55,665
Those were my legs, lady!
You could've used a hand signal!

126
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,334
Hand signal, eh?

127
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:58,585
Ow! Ow!

128
00:06:59,169 --> 00:07:00,420
[Elfo] Go after her, Bean!

129
00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:02,839
I'm addicted to stealing wallets now.

130
00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:07,260
[panting] Whoa!

131
00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:08,720
[grunting]

132
00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:16,770
Yes!

133
00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:18,188
Ow!

134
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:24,653
[panting]

135
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:27,739
Whoa!

136
00:07:30,492 --> 00:07:31,409
Oh!

137
00:07:36,748 --> 00:07:40,585
[man on-screen] Princess Diandra,
we must return the Orb of Splen-dor

138
00:07:40,669 --> 00:07:42,462
lest it destroy the kingdom.

139
00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:46,174
[scoffs] Come on! Who talks that way?

140
00:07:46,257 --> 00:07:50,679
But the Orb also gives life
to Zandoro, my elf companion.

141
00:07:51,513 --> 00:07:54,265
Hello, it is I, Zandoro.

142
00:07:54,349 --> 00:07:57,227
[scoffing] Uh, what? That's an elf?

143
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:58,603
Hey, pipe down, will ya?

144
00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:01,481
If I wanted to be annoyed,
I'd be home with my family! Shush!

145
00:08:01,564 --> 00:08:04,317
Uh, no, actually, I won't shush!

146
00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:05,318
[sword swishing]

147
00:08:05,402 --> 00:08:09,155
Ugh, and swords don't make a shling
sound every time you wave 'em around.

148
00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:10,907
That's just lazy sound design.

149
00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:13,868
-[sword swishing]
-Ugh, there it goes again.

150
00:08:13,952 --> 00:08:16,246
Shling, shling, shling!

151
00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:18,748
-It's a freakin' shling party. Ugh.
-[audience shushing]

152
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:19,666
[man] Quiet.

153
00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:21,292
Now they're dancing?

154
00:08:21,376 --> 00:08:24,796
Why do they have scenes
like this that don't move the story along?

155
00:08:27,132 --> 00:08:30,260
-Ow!
-Have some dignity, man! This won't do!

156
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:31,177
Here.

157
00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:33,930
-Oh! Thank you so much.
-None of it, sir.

158
00:08:34,140 --> 00:08:36,433
Anything for a fellow
LGS member, what-what.

159
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:37,475
A what-what what?

160
00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:40,311
League of Gallivanting Scrutinators,
of course.

161
00:08:40,395 --> 00:08:41,646
The explorers' club.

162
00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:43,481
[chuckles] What?

163
00:08:43,565 --> 00:08:47,260
Now come along. They stop serving
breakfast cocktails in five minutes.

164
00:08:59,122 --> 00:09:01,416
Your whisky sour, sir.

165
00:09:02,834 --> 00:09:04,169
Mmm, yum.

166
00:09:04,252 --> 00:09:05,879
Next time just bring the sour part.

167
00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:07,756
Less to carry, thank you.

168
00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:11,468
[scoffs] And Bean thought
I couldn't take care of myself.

169
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:14,220
There I was, trapped on the mountain peak.

170
00:09:14,304 --> 00:09:19,225
On one side, a ferocious yeti.
On the other side, a ferocious bigfoot.

171
00:09:19,309 --> 00:09:21,600
A bigfoot and yeti?

172
00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:23,646
A veritable sandwich of danger.

173
00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:25,231
Whatever did you do?

174
00:09:25,315 --> 00:09:29,235
Why, I introduced them to each other
and officiated at their wedding!

175
00:09:29,319 --> 00:09:33,364
Nine months later,
I was godmother to young Fleebor.

176
00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:34,783
To Fleebor!

177
00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:36,493
[indistinct chatter]

178
00:09:37,452 --> 00:09:39,662
Hey! I've been to Hell.

179
00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:41,623
-[all gasp]
-[monocle splashes]

180
00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:46,860
Hmm.

181
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:49,672
[panting]

182
00:09:55,530 --> 00:09:56,960
[breathing heavily]

183
00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:01,392
Okay, what is this?

184
00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:03,561
Oh, my God. Calm down.

185
00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:06,940
Oh, no. This is your life now… forever!

186
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:08,983
[yells]

187
00:10:10,260 --> 00:10:11,152
[laughs]

188
00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:14,720
I defeated your Portal of Many Rotations.

189
00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:17,750
Congratulations.
Just in time for the morning shift.

190
00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:18,451
[siren blowing]

191
00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:23,957
Oh!

192
00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:38,179
Hmm.

193
00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:43,560
[snoring]

194
00:10:55,530 --> 00:10:56,865
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

195
00:10:56,948 --> 00:11:00,201
Come back here, kitty,
and take a cat nap with me.

196
00:11:00,285 --> 00:11:01,828
[rope winding up]

197
00:11:01,911 --> 00:11:02,996
-[thud]
-[Luci] Ow!

198
00:11:04,956 --> 00:11:06,791
[grunts] Neither of us are cats!

199
00:11:07,292 --> 00:11:10,128
-[grunts]
-See, ain't that nice?

200
00:11:10,211 --> 00:11:12,130
You're my little spoon.

201
00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:14,382
Well, I'm gonna knife you in your throat.

202
00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:16,175
-[grunts]
-What the…

203
00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:17,719
[Zøg screams]

204
00:11:21,306 --> 00:11:23,933
Your Majesty, so nice to have company.

205
00:11:24,170 --> 00:11:26,185
This is usually such a lonely journey.

206
00:11:29,772 --> 00:11:32,901
Now swim for it,
before the crabs swarm over you.

207
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:35,236
Oh, no.

208
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:42,201
[buzzing]

209
00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:55,600
You should crank out
a few more before the lunch whistle blows.

210
00:11:55,890 --> 00:11:57,500
A whistle tells you when to eat?

211
00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:59,928
And another for when to work,
and another for when to take breaks,

212
00:12:00,110 --> 00:12:02,130
and another for when to stop daydreaming.

213
00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:04,570
Wow. Whistles control you.

214
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:05,350
[whistle hoots]

215
00:12:06,809 --> 00:12:08,190
[Bean] Finally! Lunch!

216
00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:10,630
No, they're just testing our product.

217
00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:15,151
[whistle hoots]

218
00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:19,720
That's the lunchtime whistle.

219
00:12:22,951 --> 00:12:23,952
The automat.

220
00:12:24,350 --> 00:12:26,412
Open any glass door
where you see a sandwich.

221
00:12:28,289 --> 00:12:31,334
Don't open the doors which have
bloodshot eyes staring back at you.

222
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:32,251
Why?

223
00:12:32,335 --> 00:12:33,920
Those are the angry sandwich makers.

224
00:12:34,300 --> 00:12:35,213
Why are they angry?

225
00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:36,673
They get paid in sandwiches.

226
00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:46,570
[Bean] Wow! You can really taste the rage.

227
00:12:46,140 --> 00:12:48,393
Thanks for all this… Um…

228
00:12:48,476 --> 00:12:50,603
Gordy Stewson, happy worker.

229
00:12:50,687 --> 00:12:52,438
I'm… Tia.

230
00:12:52,522 --> 00:12:53,898
Yeah, that's it.

231
00:12:53,982 --> 00:12:57,568
Man, I wish the automat
could give me what I really want.

232
00:12:57,652 --> 00:13:00,290
-And that is?
-Someone who works here.

233
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:04,283
Evil eyes, holier than thou attitude,
always scheming.

234
00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:07,996
I'm guessing she works in Human Resources.
She looks like this.

235
00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:10,999
That salami could be anyone.

236
00:13:11,820 --> 00:13:13,209
Tia, this company is gigantic

237
00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:16,379
and makes everything
from blimps to buses to banjos.

238
00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:19,507
There's even a division
that makes banjo music for blimps!

239
00:13:19,590 --> 00:13:22,885
Oh, I love
"Foggy Mountain Airship Disaster."

240
00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:24,220
[imitates guitar]

241
00:13:24,303 --> 00:13:25,263
[imitates explosion]

242
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:26,639
♪ We're on fire ♪

243
00:13:27,432 --> 00:13:28,641
[imitates screaming]

244
00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:29,559
Gordy.

245
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:31,686
-Gordy! Gordy, focus.
-Sorry.

246
00:13:31,769 --> 00:13:34,772
This meat woman you seek,
she could work anywhere.

247
00:13:34,856 --> 00:13:37,900
But you know your way around.
You could help me find her.

248
00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:41,320
Loitering outside of designated
work zones is grounds for dismissal.

249
00:13:41,404 --> 00:13:44,115
So it's agreed, we don't get caught.

250
00:13:44,198 --> 00:13:46,451
Oh, I've been all over.

251
00:13:46,534 --> 00:13:51,372
Dankmire, Heaven, Mermaid Island,
yeah, even the Lost City of Cremorrah.

252
00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:55,293
Which actually is now the Found City
of Cremorrah since I was there, I suppose.

253
00:13:55,376 --> 00:13:56,711
[all laugh]

254
00:13:57,253 --> 00:13:58,546
-[man] Liar!
-[all gasp]

255
00:13:58,629 --> 00:14:00,923
-What?
-Are you calling me a liar?

256
00:14:01,700 --> 00:14:03,510
Because you didn't
specifically mention me.

257
00:14:03,134 --> 00:14:04,100
I am, sir!

258
00:14:04,930 --> 00:14:07,597
And by club rules, I demand
you produce proof of your exploits.

259
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:12,226
Okay, well, um, this one time in Hell,
I thought I saw a demon's butt,

260
00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:14,645
and then I realized
it was just your mama's face.

261
00:14:14,729 --> 00:14:15,605
[all laugh]

262
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:17,148
Oh, snaps!

263
00:14:17,231 --> 00:14:19,150
What you say has the ring of truth.

264
00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:20,860
Mother was a homely woman.

265
00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:24,238
I withdraw my challenge
and salute your various exploits.

266
00:14:24,322 --> 00:14:25,656
[all] Huzzah!

267
00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:34,832
That's gotta be her! Come on.

268
00:14:34,916 --> 00:14:37,850
Be careful! Our lunch break's almost over.

269
00:14:38,860 --> 00:14:40,171
Oh, boy, here we go.

270
00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:44,342
[gasps]

271
00:14:44,926 --> 00:14:46,969
Hey, I'm makin' sandwiches here!

272
00:14:47,530 --> 00:14:48,120
Sorry, sorry!

273
00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:49,764
Get the hell outta here!

274
00:14:49,847 --> 00:14:51,390
Great sandwiches, by the way.

275
00:14:51,474 --> 00:14:54,227
-You could go easier on the mayonnaise.
-[screams]

276
00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:55,186
Whoa!

277
00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:56,729
[chuckles]

278
00:14:58,356 --> 00:14:59,273
[whistle hoots]

279
00:14:59,357 --> 00:15:01,901
Oh, no, I can't remember
what that whistle is for.

280
00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:03,903
We have to get back down to the line!

281
00:15:04,779 --> 00:15:05,780
[Bean] Whoa!

282
00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:11,160
-How do you do?
-[Gordy] How do you do?

283
00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:13,663
[Bean grunts]

284
00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:18,543
By the way,
you were right about the mayonnaise.

285
00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:35,309
Man, after-work drinks taste so much
better than instead-of-work drinks.

286
00:15:35,393 --> 00:15:37,562
Tia, you're funny. Where are you from?

287
00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:39,630
Um, a country setting.

288
00:15:39,147 --> 00:15:42,483
It's kind of like a farm,
with less milking and more stabbing.

289
00:15:42,567 --> 00:15:45,611
Well, wherever you grew up,
you sure didn't learn about fear.

290
00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:47,290
Tell me about who you're after.

291
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:50,199
She's a psycho.
If I were afraid, I wouldn't be here.

292
00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:53,202
I'd be with my psycho dad.
Or my psycho mom.

293
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:55,204
I know a lot of psychos.

294
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,665
Here's to hoping you aren't a psycho, too.

295
00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:02,712
[burps]

296
00:16:04,255 --> 00:16:07,910
[Gordy] That was kind of fun.
You can sleep in there tonight.

297
00:16:07,175 --> 00:16:08,217
Thanks, Gordy.

298
00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:11,179
Sweet dreams, worker number 124C41.

299
00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:20,104
Oh! A buzzbrighter!

300
00:16:21,772 --> 00:16:23,399
[all] Turn that off!

301
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,318
[Bean] Oh, sorry.

302
00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:37,830
[whistles hooting]

303
00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:44,420
Morning, Tia.

304
00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:47,798
Pretend we planned to meet here
so no one yells at me for cutting in line.

305
00:16:48,633 --> 00:16:50,593
[Archdruidess over speakers]
Attention, employees!

306
00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:54,680
Tonight is Company Night
at Steamland Amusement Park.

307
00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:57,975
Ugh. I hate hanging out
with work people outside work.

308
00:16:58,590 --> 00:17:00,102
What? They can still hear me?

309
00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:01,979
I thought you had to press the button.

310
00:17:02,630 --> 00:17:03,940
Attendance is mandatory,

311
00:17:04,230 --> 00:17:06,692
so get your butts down there,
and don't gimme any

312
00:17:06,776 --> 00:17:10,613
"I can't come, my arm
got chopped off by a propeller" crap.

313
00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:13,616
Also, happy birthday, Trudy in Blimpworks.

314
00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:15,868
That's her voice coming out of that horn!

315
00:17:15,952 --> 00:17:18,621
No wonder I couldn't find her.
She shrank herself.

316
00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:20,831
Maybe the mean lady
will be at the amusement park.

317
00:17:20,915 --> 00:17:26,837
And I was wondering if, um,
you wanted to go with me, and--

318
00:17:26,921 --> 00:17:30,132
Oh, I am totally gonna go. Look at this!

319
00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:34,679
I'm gonna ride the hell out of those rides
and eat a pile of deep-fried batter dogs.

320
00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:37,890
Besides, it's mandatory, right?
She'll have to be there.

321
00:17:37,974 --> 00:17:42,979
This could be my chance to nab her good,
and get my face painted like a tiger,

322
00:17:43,620 --> 00:17:46,230
which I never have
the opportunity to do back on the farm.

323
00:17:46,107 --> 00:17:48,317
And we… Why are you all nervous?

324
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,444
I didn't know if you wanted to go with me.

325
00:17:50,528 --> 00:17:53,531
Of course! I don't know how
to get to the amusement park on my own.

326
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:01,664
[train whistle hoots]

327
00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:17,471
[carnival music playing]

328
00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:30,670
[man 1] Step right up, folks.

329
00:18:30,151 --> 00:18:33,112
Take a trip through the past,
present and future of steam.

330
00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:36,324
It's as educational as it is moisturizing.

331
00:18:36,866 --> 00:18:37,992
There she is!

332
00:18:38,750 --> 00:18:40,286
Quick! She'll learn
about steam before we do.

333
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:52,798
[man 2 over speakers] Steam!
The warm, damp touch of modern life.

334
00:18:52,882 --> 00:18:55,510
"But where does steam come from?" you ask,

335
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:58,596
with the stupidity of someone
expecting to learn at a carnival.

336
00:18:59,180 --> 00:19:02,266
-[Bean laughing] Whoa!
-[man 2] Our journey begins here,

337
00:19:02,350 --> 00:19:08,189
underground, where geothermal chambers
boil aquifers to enormous pressures.

338
00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:09,106
What the hell?

339
00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:10,775
Whoo!

340
00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:16,989
[man 2] Early Sauna Man used this natural
resource to relax and maybe take a shvitz.

341
00:19:17,730 --> 00:19:22,203
Then one day, a lonely monk nobody
liked was walking near an outcropping.

342
00:19:23,329 --> 00:19:24,955
When his remains were found,

343
00:19:25,390 --> 00:19:27,500
people discovered
his robes were perfectly clean

344
00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:30,336
and no longer smelled like weird porridge.

345
00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:34,840
A new village was built around
these steam holes to harness this power,

346
00:19:34,924 --> 00:19:37,802
a village called Dead Monksburg.

347
00:19:37,885 --> 00:19:39,637
Now called Steamland.

348
00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:44,160
Thanks to steam
and the great Alva Gunderson,

349
00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:46,143
anything is possible.

350
00:19:46,227 --> 00:19:49,563
We hope you had a… blast?

351
00:19:49,647 --> 00:19:51,565
-[steam whooshes]
-[Bean coughs]

352
00:19:57,822 --> 00:20:00,199
There's no way I'll see her in this crowd.

353
00:20:00,282 --> 00:20:02,201
What if we get up high
on that wheelie thing?

354
00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:03,911
The Up-A-Go-Down Wheel? Sure.

355
00:20:05,121 --> 00:20:07,164
Tia, do you think you might stay here?

356
00:20:07,248 --> 00:20:10,334
Not on this Up-A-Go-Down Wheel,
that would be a living hell.

357
00:20:10,418 --> 00:20:11,544
I mean in Steamland.

358
00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:14,296
-You've been so honest with me.
-Totally honest.

359
00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:16,215
Well, I haven't been.

360
00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:19,510
Gordy, I'm not some
innocent girl from a farmy place.

361
00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:22,638
I'm a princess
from a magical land far away.

362
00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:25,349
Fairies, castles, demons, the works.

363
00:20:25,433 --> 00:20:27,590
Man, I sound like a nutjob. [chuckles]

364
00:20:27,143 --> 00:20:28,978
And that woman I'm looking for?

365
00:20:29,610 --> 00:20:32,940
She's an archdruidess and she says
"shaddup" in the meanest way possible.

366
00:20:33,230 --> 00:20:36,819
Oh! I guess you'll want to get back
to your fairytale life, then.

367
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:38,696
My life isn't so great.

368
00:20:38,779 --> 00:20:41,490
I mean, I actually think
yours is more free.

369
00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:44,702
Seriously, all you have to do
is report to work, do your job,

370
00:20:44,785 --> 00:20:47,288
go home, and no one tries to kill you.

371
00:20:47,371 --> 00:20:49,373
It's her! Right in front of us!

372
00:20:49,457 --> 00:20:52,751
Or behind? I don't know, it's a circle.

373
00:20:52,835 --> 00:20:54,545
[suspenseful music playing]

374
00:20:57,465 --> 00:20:58,507
[man groans]

375
00:21:12,620 --> 00:21:13,606
[Bean] Come on, come on!

376
00:21:33,334 --> 00:21:35,628
No! …happening again!

377
00:21:37,671 --> 00:21:38,506
No, no!

378
00:21:39,890 --> 00:21:40,633
[yelling] Here we go!

379
00:21:44,595 --> 00:21:45,679
[elevator bell dings]

380
00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:51,180
Oh, no, we'll never get past him.

381
00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:55,523
Elevator Boy.

382
00:21:55,606 --> 00:21:57,149
None shall rise!

383
00:21:57,233 --> 00:21:58,108
Uh…

384
00:21:58,192 --> 00:22:02,488
We just came to tell you that everyone
was waiting for you at the party.

385
00:22:02,571 --> 00:22:05,824
-No one ever misses me.
-That's not true.

386
00:22:05,908 --> 00:22:09,578
Escalator Girl misses you.
She asked if you were coming.

387
00:22:09,662 --> 00:22:12,248
Really? Escalator Girl asked about me?

388
00:22:12,331 --> 00:22:15,668
She said she really admires
how you started from the bottom

389
00:22:15,751 --> 00:22:17,378
and then went straight to the top.

390
00:22:17,461 --> 00:22:19,460
And then back to the bottom.

391
00:22:19,129 --> 00:22:21,715
And she came here
to tell you that herself.

392
00:22:21,799 --> 00:22:24,176
-No way. She's here?
-Right this way.

393
00:22:24,927 --> 00:22:26,178
Go!

394
00:22:26,762 --> 00:22:29,557
Ha! That's what you get
for believing in love.

395
00:22:30,474 --> 00:22:31,892
[elevator music playing]

396
00:23:03,132 --> 00:23:06,927
Ah! At last. Come, have a drink, Tia.

397
00:23:07,110 --> 00:23:09,540
Or should I say "Bean"?

398
00:23:10,723 --> 00:23:12,141
Alva Gunderson?

399
00:23:12,224 --> 00:23:14,476
Or should you say "Gordy"?

400
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:15,644
Gordy?

401
00:23:15,728 --> 00:23:18,355
Or should you say "Alva"?

402
00:23:18,439 --> 00:23:19,898
Stop moustaching yourself!

403
00:23:19,982 --> 00:23:20,858
Gordy?

404
00:23:20,941 --> 00:23:24,280
Oh, my God. Did you use the stairs?

405
00:23:24,111 --> 00:23:26,739
Freight elevator.
It's one of my favorite tricks.

406
00:23:26,822 --> 00:23:28,198
-Beer?
-No!

407
00:23:29,158 --> 00:23:30,909
Yeah. [slurps]

408
00:23:41,450 --> 00:23:41,879
A king!

409
00:23:41,962 --> 00:23:44,590
You want we should put him
in the bilge with the other kings?

410
00:23:44,673 --> 00:23:45,799
[Oona] Is okay, Roy.

411
00:23:45,883 --> 00:23:48,218
-We'll return him to throne room.
-All right.

412
00:23:48,302 --> 00:23:50,888
Oona! You're my queen again.

413
00:23:50,971 --> 00:23:54,141
No, Zøggy, I am married to ocean now.

414
00:23:54,224 --> 00:23:56,852
But maybe
I stick around until you are better?

415
00:23:56,935 --> 00:24:00,189
Yeah, you were always
good at stickin' to things.

416
00:24:00,272 --> 00:24:02,608
Hey, where's my kitty cat?
Have you seen him?

417
00:24:02,691 --> 00:24:04,777
I got a lot of cat questions.

418
00:24:06,111 --> 00:24:08,364
[Bean] If I didn't love
Bitsy's Bitterbeer so much,

419
00:24:08,447 --> 00:24:10,491
I'd throw this can right at your face.

420
00:24:10,574 --> 00:24:13,786
Then again, I don't know
who the hell's face I'd be throwing it at.

421
00:24:13,869 --> 00:24:16,914
At my face, Bean.
I'm Alva. This is the real me.

422
00:24:16,997 --> 00:24:19,410
Gordy Stewson
was simply my cover to meet you.

423
00:24:19,124 --> 00:24:20,876
I had to test you
to see what you were like.

424
00:24:20,959 --> 00:24:24,546
So you wear a fake moustache
when you're yourself?

425
00:24:24,630 --> 00:24:26,674
A confusing prank I pulled once.

426
00:24:26,757 --> 00:24:30,520
Sadly, I've had to commit
to the moustache ever since.

427
00:24:30,135 --> 00:24:32,304
More beer? Six-pack for the princess.

428
00:24:34,980 --> 00:24:35,724
Hey, don't I know you?

429
00:24:36,517 --> 00:24:37,351
Nope.

430
00:24:37,434 --> 00:24:39,436
Bean, I wanted to meet you so much.

431
00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:42,940
I sent my brother Skybert to Dreamland,
but I never heard back from him.

432
00:24:43,230 --> 00:24:47,194
-I hope he's okay.
-Yeah, I'm sure he is.

433
00:24:47,277 --> 00:24:50,280
And the Archdruidess?
How does she figure in all this?

434
00:24:50,364 --> 00:24:53,951
I had the Archdruidess lure you here.
I even gave her an expense account,

435
00:24:54,340 --> 00:24:55,869
which she was
supposed to keep receipts for.

436
00:24:55,953 --> 00:25:00,165
Then you approved of what she did?
She buried my father alive.

437
00:25:00,249 --> 00:25:03,460
And she tried to shoot me!
And she did shoot Turbish.

438
00:25:03,544 --> 00:25:06,213
Wait, she did what? I had no idea.

439
00:25:06,296 --> 00:25:09,174
Betty, send in
the Archdruidess immediately.

440
00:25:09,258 --> 00:25:11,301
You must believe me. I'd never approve--

441
00:25:11,385 --> 00:25:12,469
Approve what?

442
00:25:13,387 --> 00:25:18,392
Calm down, Princess.
Royalty is meaningless in Steamland.

443
00:25:18,475 --> 00:25:21,895
Intellect is king.
Isn't that right, sugarlobes?

444
00:25:21,979 --> 00:25:24,648
Did you really bury
her father alive and shoot at her?

445
00:25:24,732 --> 00:25:27,735
There was a beheading, too.
Don't forget the beheading.

446
00:25:27,818 --> 00:25:32,489
-You were simply told to lure her here.
-And I delivered what you wanted.

447
00:25:32,573 --> 00:25:35,993
Now how's about givin' mama
a little of what she wants, huh?

448
00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:39,496
I did not ask you
to leave a trail of death and destruction.

449
00:25:39,580 --> 00:25:41,832
You're fired. Security!

450
00:25:44,918 --> 00:25:46,128
Drag her away.

451
00:25:47,870 --> 00:25:50,900
I gave you my heart and you stomped on it!

452
00:25:50,174 --> 00:25:54,940
Curse you! And you, too!
A knuckle sandwich to all of you!

453
00:25:54,178 --> 00:25:55,429
[both grunt]

454
00:25:55,512 --> 00:25:59,683
I know you don't trust me,
but whatever you do, do not trust him.

455
00:25:59,767 --> 00:26:02,603
If I can't trust you, how can
I trust you to tell me who to trust?

456
00:26:02,686 --> 00:26:03,896
Shaddup.

457
00:26:03,979 --> 00:26:07,649
[struggling] No! No!

458
00:26:07,733 --> 00:26:09,526
Not the little door!

459
00:26:09,610 --> 00:26:10,736
[door closes]

460
00:26:10,819 --> 00:26:13,572
And there, in the middle of the jungle,

461
00:26:13,655 --> 00:26:16,241
he slapped me on the bum-bum.

462
00:26:16,325 --> 00:26:17,326
[all laugh]

463
00:26:17,409 --> 00:26:20,537
Chums, I've had the journey of a lifetime.

464
00:26:20,621 --> 00:26:22,915
I lost ten good men to the frozen north,

465
00:26:22,998 --> 00:26:26,210
but I also lost five jerks,
so it balanced out.

466
00:26:26,293 --> 00:26:30,422
Shush! You're interrupting the most
wondrous tale from our newest member.

467
00:26:30,506 --> 00:26:33,383
Yeah, park it, old-timer.
You might wanna take some notes.

468
00:26:33,467 --> 00:26:36,929
-[all laugh]
-Learn? From you?

469
00:26:37,120 --> 00:26:40,265
Why, I'll have you know,
there's not a single corner of this world

470
00:26:40,349 --> 00:26:43,180
that I haven't explored,
conquered or shot at.

471
00:26:43,101 --> 00:26:45,145
-Oh, think so?
-Indubitably.

472
00:26:45,229 --> 00:26:47,689
Oh, I think can duble it.

473
00:26:47,773 --> 00:26:51,860
Why, the effrontery!
Sir, I lay you a club challenge.

474
00:26:51,944 --> 00:26:55,489
Name a place, any place,
that you have been that I have not.

475
00:26:56,198 --> 00:26:57,157
Elfwood.

476
00:26:57,241 --> 00:26:58,575
-[all gasping]
-What?

477
00:26:58,659 --> 00:27:02,663
A real place, sir.
Not some sojourn of your drunken dreams.

478
00:27:02,746 --> 00:27:05,249
But it is real.
And I've really been there.

479
00:27:05,332 --> 00:27:06,583
Your proof?

480
00:27:06,667 --> 00:27:08,126
-Ta-da!
-[all gasping]

481
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:10,170
[monocle splashes]

482
00:27:11,922 --> 00:27:14,341
An elf for my shelf.

483
00:27:14,424 --> 00:27:17,344
Bean, I've never met
anyone as bold or clever as you,

484
00:27:17,427 --> 00:27:19,596
so I feel comfortable saying this.

485
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:23,851
There's a power in Dreamland
beyond anything we have here.

486
00:27:23,934 --> 00:27:28,814
You call it magic, but really, it's simply
natural phenomena we don't yet understand.

487
00:27:28,897 --> 00:27:31,358
But science, or "stience," as you call it,

488
00:27:31,441 --> 00:27:34,486
can harness that magic
into a force for good.

489
00:27:34,570 --> 00:27:38,310
-What exactly are you offering here?
-Definitely not your job back.

490
00:27:38,115 --> 00:27:40,742
You made only
one steam whistle, and this is it.

491
00:27:41,618 --> 00:27:42,744
[whistle hoots poorly]

492
00:27:43,704 --> 00:27:47,833
An alliance is what I'm offering,
between magic and science.

493
00:27:47,916 --> 00:27:51,545
Whoa! This is big. I really need
some time to drink about this.

494
00:27:51,628 --> 00:27:52,921
-You mean--
-I know what I said.

495
00:28:05,809 --> 00:28:06,810
[sighs]

496
00:28:09,646 --> 00:28:11,857
At least Elfo is out there having fun.

497
00:28:30,751 --> 00:28:31,835
[sighs]

498
00:28:37,424 --> 00:28:39,426
[closing theme music playing]