1
00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:08,926
[opening theme music playing]

2
00:00:10,100 --> 00:00:11,345
[man] Hey!

3
00:00:21,730 --> 00:00:23,982
[thudding]

4
00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:26,860
-[wheels screech]
-[all grunt]

5
00:00:26,944 --> 00:00:30,572
[Turbish] Welcome to Dreamland!
Thank you for traveling Turbish Express!

6
00:00:30,656 --> 00:00:31,782
Oh, thank God.

7
00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:35,452
This little piggy's had to wee-wee-wee
all the way home. Stand aside.

8
00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:38,288
Oh, Turbish, how considerate of you.

9
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:40,916
I'm not kneeling, I'm dying.

10
00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:42,542
-Wait a minute.
-[Turbish] Oh!

11
00:00:42,626 --> 00:00:44,753
What the hell is that weird green smoke?

12
00:00:44,836 --> 00:00:45,921
[Luci gibbers]

13
00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:47,714
Here. Stole 'em from Odval.

14
00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:52,344
[Bean gasps] Look,
just beyond Mount Ominous!

15
00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:54,540
Hey, everybody stop worrying.

16
00:00:54,137 --> 00:00:56,306
Probably just an army
marching here to kill you all.

17
00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:58,767
I'm gonna go get a snack.
Hey, do I look fat?

18
00:00:58,850 --> 00:00:59,685
'Cause you do.

19
00:00:59,768 --> 00:01:02,620
[scatting]

20
00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:03,563
Yeah, you're gonna die soon.

21
00:01:03,647 --> 00:01:05,357
[clears throat and scats]

22
00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:07,359
But who'd want to attack Dreamland?

23
00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:10,654
Besides Bentwood.
Or Dankmire. Or Steamland.

24
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:13,365
Or those teenagers
we ran over a while back.

25
00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:16,785
You have an impressive
number of enemies for a girl your age.

26
00:01:16,868 --> 00:01:19,913
Face it, Bean,
neither one of us is destined to lead.

27
00:01:19,997 --> 00:01:22,124
You can't even keep track of your boots.

28
00:01:22,624 --> 00:01:24,334
[sighs] I miss footwear.

29
00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:25,961
I may not be destined to lead--

30
00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:28,505
-Or fit to lead.
-Ooh! Or equipped to lead.

31
00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:30,424
Or sociopathic enough to lead.

32
00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:32,634
[chuckles] Girl,
you are the wrong type of crazy.

33
00:01:32,718 --> 00:01:35,304
The last thing
this kingdom needs is more crazy.

34
00:01:35,387 --> 00:01:37,764
-[Zøg honking]
-[Bean] Uh-oh.

35
00:01:38,473 --> 00:01:40,142
All right, Zøg has stopped…

36
00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:42,185
[imitates Zøg's honking sounds]

37
00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:46,315
He's either fast asleep
or sitting very still in a quiet rage.

38
00:01:46,398 --> 00:01:47,607
Okay, Abner.

39
00:01:47,691 --> 00:01:52,738
Now tiptoe in and put the roast poodle
close enough to smell, but not too close.

40
00:01:52,821 --> 00:01:55,532
He's been known
to eat whole cushions in his sleep.

41
00:01:55,615 --> 00:01:57,340
Then, get the hell out fast.

42
00:01:57,117 --> 00:02:01,371
Are you ready? You ready? Okay.
You signed your will, right? Good. Go.

43
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:02,331
[grunts]

44
00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:05,542
[Zøg] Hey, wait a minute.

45
00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:08,337
This ain't no poodle.
It tastes like Shih Tzu.

46
00:02:08,420 --> 00:02:10,380
[Abner] No! Not the catapult!

47
00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:14,301
[thuds]

48
00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:19,681
Oh, Turbish? Would you step in here
for a minute, please?

49
00:02:26,188 --> 00:02:29,816
[Oona] You are back?
Did you get Bentwood moneys and weapons?

50
00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:31,777
No, I screwed up royally.

51
00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:33,904
[Oona] That should be family motto.

52
00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:35,947
Wait, Oona, are you going somewhere?

53
00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:37,741
Whoa!

54
00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:39,618
Whoa, again!

55
00:02:39,701 --> 00:02:42,790
It's time to shed skin and leave, Bean.

56
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:45,457
The longer I stay on land,
the weaker I appear on sea.

57
00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:49,961
Piracy is very cutthroat business,
is not even joke. Or isn't?

58
00:02:50,450 --> 00:02:51,880
But I can't do this without you!

59
00:02:51,963 --> 00:02:55,258
Elfo and Luci are all I have,
and that is not a deep bench.

60
00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:58,887
If I do not go now,
I cannot return when least expect.

61
00:02:58,970 --> 00:03:01,973
A powerful Oona
is more help to Bean in the future.

62
00:03:02,570 --> 00:03:04,518
But we might
not have a future if you leave now.

63
00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:07,354
Some kind of evil cloud cover
is coming our way.

64
00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:11,233
Don't be drama queen.
That is my job. Flourish.

65
00:03:11,817 --> 00:03:12,776
Oona, no!

66
00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:16,696
You'll know what to do.
You are more capable than you don't think.

67
00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:18,365
Goodbye, crazy girl.

68
00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:21,118
[suction noises]

69
00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:25,330
Ooh. Gecko style.

70
00:03:25,414 --> 00:03:27,499
[Oona] Not gecko, newt!

71
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:31,860
This feels nice.

72
00:03:31,169 --> 00:03:35,340
Yeah. And once I sprinkle it with glitter,
you'll look like a right badass.

73
00:03:36,700 --> 00:03:39,511
Derek. Oh!
And new angry fairy girl I like.

74
00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:42,550
[Snarla] Hey, Oona, how's it hanging?

75
00:03:42,139 --> 00:03:45,725
Oh, by suction cups.
Listen, I must vamoose for a while.

76
00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:48,645
Well, what about me?
I don't wanna stay in Dreamland.

77
00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:51,940
Bean and Dad
are just really emotionally draining.

78
00:03:52,230 --> 00:03:54,317
Plus, I'm not the cute one anymore.

79
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:56,945
Yeah, but a few scars
and a tattoo of a naked me,

80
00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:58,280
you'll be my dream geezer.

81
00:03:58,363 --> 00:04:01,783
Goodbye, Derek.
I love you. Don't follow me.

82
00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:03,118
[suction noises receding]

83
00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:05,620
Well, those are mixed messages.

84
00:04:06,705 --> 00:04:10,625
Mommy, wait! My needs outweigh your scorn!

85
00:04:11,376 --> 00:04:13,300
[adventurous music playing]

86
00:04:13,860 --> 00:04:14,504
Set sail!

87
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:16,600
[water splashing]

88
00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:17,466
[Derek grunts]

89
00:04:17,549 --> 00:04:18,800
Ugh, I knew it.

90
00:04:18,884 --> 00:04:20,760
I swallowed a lot of sea water.

91
00:04:23,847 --> 00:04:26,349
Derek and Oona. I'm gonna miss her.

92
00:04:26,892 --> 00:04:28,310
[Oona yelling]

93
00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:30,562
[Bean] Damn it!
She took her drugs with her.

94
00:04:31,313 --> 00:04:34,483
Oh, no, the smoke's gone
from the Badlands to the Even Worse Lands!

95
00:04:34,566 --> 00:04:38,111
It's probably those smartass
teenagers getting high in the woods again.

96
00:04:38,195 --> 00:04:39,779
I'm glad we ran them over.

97
00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:43,450
We should start a gang and kick Elfo out.
We can call it "Luci and Friend."

98
00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:46,161
Shut up, boys. I gotta warn my nutty dad.

99
00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:48,163
It'll either cure him or kill him.

100
00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:52,292
Princess, you've returned.
What news of Bentwood?

101
00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:53,335
It's not good.

102
00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:56,213
Though, I did run into Grindl,
an old friend of Sorcerio's.

103
00:04:56,296 --> 00:05:00,675
-You went to wizarding school together?
-More of a wizarding community college.

104
00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:03,178
I flunked out because I was so overworked.

105
00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:06,765
It's hard being a wizard
and a golf caddy at the same time.

106
00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:09,142
Anyway, I've got to talk to my dad.

107
00:05:09,226 --> 00:05:10,101
Oh, ah… [smacks lips]

108
00:05:10,185 --> 00:05:13,605
You do not wanna go in there,
unless you're a fan of, like, dying.

109
00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:14,523
[chuckles]

110
00:05:14,606 --> 00:05:16,900
Perhaps you should
put on some armor first.

111
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:19,152
Or an invisibility cloak.

112
00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:21,530
I had one here a minute ago.

113
00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:23,949
Oh, he's not gonna mess
with daddy's little girl.

114
00:05:24,320 --> 00:05:25,992
Or her fists of lead.

115
00:05:27,369 --> 00:05:29,621
I'm bettin' on, like, the fat guy.

116
00:05:32,541 --> 00:05:34,376
[Zøg babbling and honking]

117
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:38,296
-Dad?
-[honks]

118
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,590
-It's me.
-[honks]

119
00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:44,636
Your favorite kid? The drunken one?

120
00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:48,560
The big disappointment?
The one who shot you?

121
00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:49,266
[honks]

122
00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:52,310
Ah, Beanie…

123
00:05:52,394 --> 00:05:54,396
It's okay, Dad. I'm here for you.

124
00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:57,566
Let's not say anything
to anger El Porko Loco.

125
00:05:57,649 --> 00:05:58,900
[grunts]

126
00:05:59,818 --> 00:06:01,278
[screams]

127
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,780
-Oh! Duck!
-Duck!

128
00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:05,865
Duck? Where? [grunts]

129
00:06:05,949 --> 00:06:07,117
-[grunts]
-[yelps]

130
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,952
-[thud]
-[honks]

131
00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:12,706
[Mertz] I was hiding
under the throne since Tuesday.

132
00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:15,875
[sighs] At least
this side of his head is undamaged.

133
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:20,297
Look at that glowering old fool.
It's clear he's unfit to lead.

134
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,257
-[Bean] You think?
-[all gasp]

135
00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:23,842
Tiabeanie, you know that…

136
00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:26,511
[both] Women are not permitted
to speak in the council chambers.

137
00:06:26,595 --> 00:06:27,512
[both] It's the law.

138
00:06:27,596 --> 00:06:30,181
-It's a stupid law.
-[all gasp]

139
00:06:30,265 --> 00:06:32,809
Why don't you just stop
gasping and change the law?

140
00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:34,978
Only the king can change the law.

141
00:06:35,610 --> 00:06:37,439
But right now,
he can't even change himself.

142
00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:40,233
You heard me correctly.
The king is bediapered.

143
00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:41,192
[all gasping and muttering]

144
00:06:41,276 --> 00:06:44,487
Stop harrumphing!
We've got far more pressing matters!

145
00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:46,720
[grunts] This is ridiculous!

146
00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:50,744
King Zøg is a danger to himself
and, more important, to me.

147
00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:53,163
He must be restrained
and put away somewhere.

148
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:54,831
Then who will rule the kingdom?

149
00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:57,459
With Derek out at sea, no one.

150
00:06:57,542 --> 00:07:00,503
[shouts] You're going to have
a hard time keeping this quiet!

151
00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:03,465
I know a place we can keep
Zøg that's completely soundproof.

152
00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:05,508
It's where we put that zydeco band.

153
00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:10,550
That's right. Stan is talking,
of course, of the Old Castle Mental Ward.

154
00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:13,725
[Apothecary] But if we put Zøg down there,
who'll have the guts to talk to him?

155
00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:16,227
Not me. Hospitals give me the willies.

156
00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:19,314
Yes, that place creeps even me out.

157
00:07:19,397 --> 00:07:21,608
And you know me, I love zydeco.

158
00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:26,363
Well, the bigmouth princess
has a soothing influence over him.

159
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,310
I suppose so.

160
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:31,868
She's probably
the only one brave, or foolish, enough.

161
00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:36,373
[Bean] So now you come crawling back,
begging me to talk to my dad, huh?

162
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:39,209
I'll do it if you come
crawling and beg me.

163
00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:43,963
Oh, please. Oh, please. Oh, please.

164
00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:58,478
Hi, Dad, I brought you some dinner.

165
00:07:58,561 --> 00:08:00,480
With gravy? [honks]

166
00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:02,482
Listen, I need to talk to you.

167
00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:06,820
We have to start working together.
But I need you to help me help you.

168
00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:08,154
[grunts]

169
00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:11,825
Mmm… [mumbles]

170
00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:14,536
Yeah, it's your favorite soup.
Melted butter.

171
00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:16,121
Anyway, I thought you should know

172
00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:18,707
that there's this thing
headed toward Dreamland.

173
00:08:18,790 --> 00:08:23,503
We don't know if it's an army
or a monster or a storm, or what.

174
00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:24,963
It's green smoke.

175
00:08:25,460 --> 00:08:27,757
[grunts] Green smoke? [whimpering]

176
00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:31,428
I know, but calm down.
We can do this together.

177
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:34,139
And by we, I mean, mostly you,

178
00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:36,349
because, holy cow,
being in charge is stressful.

179
00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:38,143
I totally get why you went insane.

180
00:08:38,226 --> 00:08:39,894
Yeah, this isn't helping, is it?

181
00:08:39,978 --> 00:08:41,187
More, please.

182
00:08:41,813 --> 00:08:44,650
-Man, I know you know what to do.
-[moans]

183
00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:45,483
-Somewhere inside you…
-Mmm…

184
00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:48,695
…along with this food
and those chess pieces you ate yesterday,

185
00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:49,988
it's in there, isn't it?

186
00:08:50,613 --> 00:08:53,366
[grunts and mumbles]

187
00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:54,909
Yeah, I know what you're saying.

188
00:08:54,993 --> 00:08:57,203
Wait, I know what you're saying.

189
00:08:57,287 --> 00:09:01,249
All these years of living with a grunting,
emotionally remote dad has paid off.

190
00:09:01,332 --> 00:09:02,542
I have an idea.

191
00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:03,835
[sighs]

192
00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:05,503
[babbling]

193
00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:07,380
[honks] Idiots…

194
00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:09,480
[mumbling]

195
00:09:11,843 --> 00:09:14,220
Dummy. Dummy. [honks]

196
00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:17,932
Okay, um, play me in
with a little fanfare, Luci.

197
00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:19,601
[horn playing]

198
00:09:19,684 --> 00:09:22,228
All right. Shut up, everyone, quiet.

199
00:09:22,312 --> 00:09:25,440
The princess
has a proclamation from King Zøg.

200
00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:27,817
Shut up, Elfo, I'm not done yet.

201
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:29,736
[playing jazz]

202
00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:38,369
Thank you. That was a little number
I call "Shut Up, Elfo" in E flat. Elfo?

203
00:09:38,453 --> 00:09:40,914
[chuckles] Okay.
That's great. Please stop clapping.

204
00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:43,124
That's enough. Let's stop now, please.

205
00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:45,794
-Oh, still one person. Let's stop.
-[Turbish clapping]

206
00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:48,400
-Turbish!
-[Turbish] Sorry.

207
00:09:48,870 --> 00:09:53,676
Ahem. Princess Tiabeanie
brings a proclamation from King Zøg.

208
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:57,597
By order of my dad,
Dreamland must prepare for an attack.

209
00:09:57,680 --> 00:10:00,141
Furthermore, my father said, and I quote…

210
00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:01,184
[imitates Zøg's honk]

211
00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:04,896
[imitating Zøg] "Tell them jackasses
that I said to do what you say."

212
00:10:04,979 --> 00:10:07,190
[in normal voice]
And by "you," he means me.

213
00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:08,358
Continuing…

214
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:12,278
[imitating Zøg] "Those idiots are so dumb,
they'll believe anything."

215
00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:15,198
I believe anything and I'm not an idiot.

216
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:19,350
[imitating Zøg] "Once the biggest idiot
has spoken, wrap it up."

217
00:10:19,118 --> 00:10:21,871
-[in normal voice] Meeting adjourned.
-[all muttering]

218
00:10:23,164 --> 00:10:24,499
What just happened?

219
00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:26,960
[breathing heavily]

220
00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:35,900
[Dagmar echoing] Zøg? Oh, Zøg?

221
00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:36,845
Zøg!

222
00:10:36,928 --> 00:10:39,639
Dag? Dagmar, is that you?

223
00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:42,517
[Dagmar] Let me in,
Zøg, and I'll let you out.

224
00:10:43,268 --> 00:10:47,605
Whoa, I'm finally hearing
voices outside of my head.

225
00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:51,670
Dad, I brought you
a little midnight snack.

226
00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:55,488
They didn't have much in the kitchen,
but I got you some giant novelty crackers.

227
00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:58,783
Remember? You executed
the guy who invented these? [gasps]

228
00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:01,828
Oh, no! Dad? This is bad.

229
00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:04,497
Really bad.

230
00:11:04,581 --> 00:11:05,832
[honking and grunting]

231
00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:13,715
[yells]

232
00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:14,924
Who's up there?

233
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:17,760
[Turbish] It's just Mertz. Only Mertz!

234
00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:20,763
[Mertz] It's not just me!
It's only Turbish! Ha!

235
00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:23,558
[Zøg] Lower the goddamn
drawbridge right now

236
00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:26,144
or I'll come up there
and strangle the both of you!

237
00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:30,732
[Turbish] Ha-ha, the only way up here
is the secret door to your immediate left!

238
00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:31,691
[Zøg grunts]

239
00:11:31,774 --> 00:11:32,984
Uh-oh.

240
00:11:33,670 --> 00:11:35,280
-[Zøg grunts]
-[grunting]

241
00:11:36,700 --> 00:11:37,530
You're next, Turbish!

242
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:41,340
-[both] Ah!
-[water splashes]

243
00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:47,665
Hey, guys! Did you see my dad?

244
00:11:47,749 --> 00:11:49,125
He went thataway.

245
00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:51,200
Oops, I let go.

246
00:11:51,850 --> 00:11:52,860
[yells] No!

247
00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:55,965
[grunts] This place looks awful.
Who's in charge here?

248
00:11:56,490 --> 00:11:57,175
[honks] Who the hell is that guy?

249
00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:58,635
Oh!

250
00:11:58,718 --> 00:11:59,844
The king!

251
00:11:59,928 --> 00:12:01,554
What're you doin' out here?

252
00:12:01,638 --> 00:12:06,517
You gotta be protectin' the castle
against that green smoke that's coming.

253
00:12:06,601 --> 00:12:09,729
Listen, buddy,
you gotta sneak back in that castle.

254
00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:14,108
You can't be out here in the streets
like this… All that riffraff… [mumbling]

255
00:12:15,151 --> 00:12:16,444
[yells] Have you gone crazy?

256
00:12:16,527 --> 00:12:18,947
Dad? Dad, where are you?

257
00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:23,368
-[water bubbling]
-[screams]

258
00:12:23,952 --> 00:12:27,163
Come on in. Water's nice and warm.

259
00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:28,539
[screams]

260
00:12:28,623 --> 00:12:29,749
[honks]

261
00:12:29,832 --> 00:12:31,250
[all honking]

262
00:12:33,461 --> 00:12:34,921
[grunts]

263
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:37,173
Why's everything gettin' dinkier?

264
00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:38,967
[Shocko vocalizing] Ooh!

265
00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:41,177
Ooh!

266
00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:42,428
[honks]

267
00:12:42,512 --> 00:12:43,846
-Ooh!
-[honks]

268
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:45,181
-Ooh!
-[honks]

269
00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:46,182
-Ooh!
-[honks]

270
00:12:46,265 --> 00:12:47,600
[both continue]

271
00:12:51,521 --> 00:12:52,939
All right, I'll talk to you later.

272
00:12:53,220 --> 00:12:53,982
Ooh.

273
00:12:54,565 --> 00:12:55,775
[water bubbling and splashing]

274
00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:57,402
-Hey, girlie!
-Yow!

275
00:12:57,485 --> 00:13:00,113
Now with bubbles! 14 cents!

276
00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:01,280
Forget it.

277
00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:06,350
Have you ever sold a cup?

278
00:13:06,577 --> 00:13:08,287
13 cents!

279
00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:12,125
[shower running]

280
00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:13,710
Ooh, ooh, ooh!

281
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:14,627
Thanks!

282
00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:18,172
Oh, sorry!

283
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:24,470
[grunting]

284
00:13:25,263 --> 00:13:27,640
Oh, no, he's at Losers' Leap,

285
00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:29,392
right above Splatter Beach.

286
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:40,153
Hi, Dad. Please don't run away.

287
00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:43,406
Come on, what's wrong? Talk to me.

288
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:46,340
Now you're not talking at all?

289
00:13:46,117 --> 00:13:47,994
Not even a honk, for old time's sake?

290
00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:49,370
[honks]

291
00:13:50,121 --> 00:13:52,373
All right. Come on,
we can go get some crackers?

292
00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:55,918
Dad, come on, say something.

293
00:13:58,129 --> 00:14:03,801
Let's go home. The kingdom needs you.
I need you. I mostly need you to talk.

294
00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:09,140
[ominous music playing]

295
00:14:11,142 --> 00:14:12,560
[sentimental music playing]

296
00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:18,691
You know, Dad, a lot of people
think you're beyond repair.

297
00:14:18,775 --> 00:14:21,194
And now you're wearing
your crown backwards,

298
00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:23,654
and your ass hanging out
is a definite deal breaker.

299
00:14:23,738 --> 00:14:25,990
But I know that you can get better.

300
00:14:26,740 --> 00:14:27,492
And I'll be right by your side

301
00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:28,785
-until you do.
-[door closes]

302
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:30,620
Damn it! Dad!

303
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:31,913
[sighs]

304
00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:35,830
[Zøg as Freckles] Hi, Beanie! Over here!

305
00:14:35,166 --> 00:14:37,168
Come on, Beanie, over here!

306
00:14:37,251 --> 00:14:38,795
Wow, okay.

307
00:14:40,460 --> 00:14:42,673
Hello, there!
You sound like someone I know.

308
00:14:42,757 --> 00:14:46,511
I don't think so.
I ain't never been tossed in a drunk tank.

309
00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:47,512
[laughs]

310
00:14:47,595 --> 00:14:48,471
Hey!

311
00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:50,848
I'm kiddin'.
You look like you can take a joke.

312
00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:53,935
You look in the mirror
every mornin', don't you? [laughs]

313
00:14:54,180 --> 00:14:57,396
Dad, you're talking again!
Let's go home and celebrate!

314
00:14:58,640 --> 00:14:59,107
[honks]

315
00:15:00,108 --> 00:15:04,195
Don't you see?
He talks through me. But it ain't free.

316
00:15:04,278 --> 00:15:05,404
Tee hee hee.

317
00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:08,658
Oh, I can't part with that one.
That's Freckles.

318
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:11,327
He's a very naughty boy,
but he's my favorite.

319
00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:13,371
He's practically my son, you know,

320
00:15:13,454 --> 00:15:15,832
though I wouldn't want to nurse
that splintery wooden mouth!

321
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,416
He's a biter. [chuckles]

322
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:21,450
Perhaps you'd be interested
in this eyeless frog dummy?

323
00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:23,423
He comes with a lily pad arse glove.

324
00:15:23,506 --> 00:15:24,382
[honks]

325
00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:26,843
I think the insulting dummy
really appeals to him.

326
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,344
And my low self-esteem.

327
00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:31,806
Aw, I'm done razzin' ya,
ya bucktoothed gin junkie.

328
00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:33,641
We'll take it in a bag, please.

329
00:15:37,228 --> 00:15:39,939
Any operating instructions
or ominous warnings?

330
00:15:40,220 --> 00:15:43,151
Oh, my, no. Enjoy! No refunds!

331
00:15:46,195 --> 00:15:48,156
-Bye, Freckles!
-Hmm.

332
00:15:53,703 --> 00:15:55,872
[joints creaking]

333
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:56,873
[Freckles whistles]

334
00:15:56,956 --> 00:16:01,627
I've heard every man's home
is his castle, but this place is a dump.

335
00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:04,714
Yeah, well, the throne room
isn't usually such a disaster,

336
00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:08,900
but my dad has had
kind of a rough few years.

337
00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:11,971
And Bunty only cleans on Tuesdays.
Being king can drive you mad.

338
00:16:12,540 --> 00:16:14,560
Uh, you can say that again!

339
00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:16,580
And the way Zøg was tortured,

340
00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:19,145
it's no wonder
he don't talk no more, yeah?

341
00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:21,731
It's "doesn't talk no more."

342
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:23,816
Wait, tortured? How?

343
00:16:23,900 --> 00:16:27,111
Zøg was left for dead
with a hole in his chest.

344
00:16:27,195 --> 00:16:30,281
He was told his loving daughter
was burnt at the stake.

345
00:16:30,364 --> 00:16:34,243
He was buried alive in a pine box.
That's torture!

346
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:37,496
I should know.
Some of my best friends are pine boxes.

347
00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:38,497
[laughs]

348
00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:41,830
Princess, the king
has escaped from the mental ward

349
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:42,335
and now, that nutjob is…

350
00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:46,172
sitting there with a charming
little puppet on his lap. [chuckles]

351
00:16:46,255 --> 00:16:48,925
[whispers] Is it wise to have Zøg
untethered like that?

352
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:49,842
[whispers] He's good.

353
00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:52,887
This dummy keeps him calm
and allows him to express himself

354
00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:55,348
in ways
that don't involve honking or punching.

355
00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:59,560
Oh, I see this castle already
has a dummy. Am I right, dummy?

356
00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:02,688
[chuckles] Good one, Your Majesty.
[clears throat]

357
00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:05,816
-The kingdom needs--
-You think ignoring me makes me go away,

358
00:17:05,900 --> 00:17:08,486
but it just…
[yells] makes me more annoying!

359
00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:10,279
Consider me schooled.

360
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:11,822
The kingdom needs to prepare

361
00:17:11,906 --> 00:17:14,867
for an incoming cloud
of green smoke and we have a question.

362
00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:17,787
Oh? Which is?

363
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:21,499
What do we do to prepare
for an incoming cloud of green smoke?

364
00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:22,542
Hmm…

365
00:17:22,625 --> 00:17:26,963
You wanna know the most important
thing in preparing for a potential attack?

366
00:17:27,460 --> 00:17:28,130
Oh, yes.

367
00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:30,633
-Come closer.
-Okay.

368
00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:31,842
Closer.

369
00:17:31,926 --> 00:17:32,802
Oh?

370
00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:34,804
-Closer.
-Hmm?

371
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:37,640
[whispers] See,
you gotta watch out for my hand!

372
00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:39,100
-Ow!
-[laughs]

373
00:17:39,183 --> 00:17:40,601
Look at it! It left an imprint!

374
00:17:40,685 --> 00:17:43,521
Uh, I think he means
we have to be vigilant.

375
00:17:46,565 --> 00:17:48,943
[Bean] That big wall
is not gonna stop the smoke.

376
00:17:49,260 --> 00:17:50,736
Get the nets, idiots!

377
00:17:51,612 --> 00:17:55,199
[Freckles] Hey, watch it.
That ladder's my uncle.

378
00:17:55,283 --> 00:17:59,829
Even more important
than a good defense is a good offense.

379
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:01,372
You heard him. We need weapons.

380
00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:03,708
We need bravery.
We need a brilliant strategy.

381
00:18:03,791 --> 00:18:05,960
-Is hiding a weapon?
-No.

382
00:18:06,430 --> 00:18:08,254
-Is hiding bravery?
-No.

383
00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:10,506
Is hiding a brilliant strategy?

384
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:12,800
Well, yes.

385
00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:18,970
Sergeant Touchy,
feel out where we're vulnerable.

386
00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:19,265
Hmm…

387
00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:20,600
Yes, yes…

388
00:18:20,683 --> 00:18:24,228
You're afraid to let people in
and you hide behind sarcasm.

389
00:18:24,312 --> 00:18:27,230
I meant our battle plan, but good to know.

390
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:29,191
Jenkins, work on your issues.

391
00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:33,654
There's one last thing
you gotta do to be ready.

392
00:18:33,738 --> 00:18:34,780
And that is?

393
00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:38,750
You have to come closer
'cause I don't want people to panic.

394
00:18:38,159 --> 00:18:39,994
-Yes?
-Come closer!

395
00:18:40,770 --> 00:18:44,582
Oh, no, I'm not falling for that
one again. You're going to hit me.

396
00:18:44,665 --> 00:18:46,709
I'm not gonna hit you, I promise!

397
00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:48,440
-You promise?
-Yeah!

398
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,253
-You really do?
-Uh-huh.

399
00:18:49,337 --> 00:18:51,547
No foolin' now,
this is a serious situation.

400
00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:53,632
-You got it.
-All right, then.

401
00:18:53,716 --> 00:18:56,469
-You gotta come closer, though.
-All right.

402
00:18:57,940 --> 00:18:59,550
-Closer.
-Hmm.

403
00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:02,160
You really wanna know
what's important in a siege?

404
00:19:02,990 --> 00:19:03,601
Yes, I do.

405
00:19:03,684 --> 00:19:05,190
Closer, then.

406
00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:08,314
You gotta make sure
people don't go hungry! [grunts]

407
00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:09,523
Ow!

408
00:19:09,607 --> 00:19:11,650
Oh, ow! Ow! Ow!

409
00:19:11,734 --> 00:19:12,610
[crying]

410
00:19:12,693 --> 00:19:14,403
Oh, you promised!

411
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:16,447
Yeah, I promised I wasn't gonna hit ya.

412
00:19:16,530 --> 00:19:19,950
That's why I bit ya.
Next time, I might slit ya. Yeah.

413
00:19:20,340 --> 00:19:22,328
We better stock up on food and beverages.

414
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:30,211
We've brought regular gumballs,
and suicide gumballs,

415
00:19:30,294 --> 00:19:32,671
in case things take a turn for the worse.

416
00:19:32,755 --> 00:19:34,590
Okay, put it over there.

417
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:40,721
Hmm…

418
00:19:42,473 --> 00:19:43,599
[choking]

419
00:19:44,767 --> 00:19:46,102
Ew, grape.

420
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:47,937
Ew, no, thank you.

421
00:19:49,105 --> 00:19:52,983
Preparations seem to be proceeding
beyond our wildest fantasies, sire.

422
00:19:53,670 --> 00:19:55,236
And you oughta see this guy's fantasies!

423
00:19:55,319 --> 00:19:57,863
Talk about being sick and depraved!

424
00:19:57,947 --> 00:20:01,409
That's all he does!
Talk about being sick and depraved.

425
00:20:01,492 --> 00:20:04,453
Are you finished?
Because we're due to be slaughtered.

426
00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:08,791
We're working well together
getting the kingdom prepared.

427
00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:12,253
I feel really optimistic
about the oncoming bloodbath.

428
00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:13,712
[snoring]

429
00:20:13,796 --> 00:20:14,713
Good night, Dad.

430
00:20:17,466 --> 00:20:18,884
[Freckles] Good night, Bean.

431
00:20:19,510 --> 00:20:21,110
[Zøg snoring]

432
00:20:22,346 --> 00:20:25,150
From now on, call me Freckles.

433
00:20:25,990 --> 00:20:27,170
So…

434
00:20:27,101 --> 00:20:30,104
this isn't gonna get more normal
any time soon, is it?

435
00:20:30,187 --> 00:20:31,647
What do you think?

436
00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:32,898
[laughs]

437
00:20:49,165 --> 00:20:50,708
All right, rummies.

438
00:20:50,791 --> 00:20:55,400
You don't have to die at home,
but you can't die here. Now beat it!

439
00:20:55,870 --> 00:20:56,422
[all groaning]

440
00:20:58,591 --> 00:21:02,845
Hey, do you guys think I should wean
my dad off his emotional support dummy?

441
00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:05,264
And if I do,
will he still be able to run the kingdom?

442
00:21:05,347 --> 00:21:07,558
Face it.
You're the one running the kingdom.

443
00:21:07,641 --> 00:21:11,687
All that dummy does is tell stale,
wooden jokes that hurt people's feelings.

444
00:21:11,770 --> 00:21:14,230
Bean, you're the one in charge.

445
00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:15,900
-Quiet, mule. Hyah!
-Ah!

446
00:21:17,151 --> 00:21:20,738
Hmm, there's only one way
to find out who's really in control.

447
00:21:20,821 --> 00:21:22,782
[suspenseful violin music playing]

448
00:21:27,495 --> 00:21:29,790
[Zøg snoring]

449
00:21:40,257 --> 00:21:42,920
[Bean] Sweet dreams, Freckles.

450
00:21:44,345 --> 00:21:45,554
[crickets chirping]

451
00:21:46,931 --> 00:21:48,980
[sighs]

452
00:21:51,185 --> 00:21:52,853
[door creaks]

453
00:21:54,522 --> 00:21:55,940
[clanking]

454
00:21:56,230 --> 00:21:58,250
Whoa! [breathing heavily]

455
00:21:58,108 --> 00:21:59,777
-[door slams]
-Huh.

456
00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:04,310
Whoa!

457
00:22:12,790 --> 00:22:14,291
Oh. [sighs]

458
00:22:18,254 --> 00:22:21,600
Dad, it's 3:00 a.m.
and you're not in your bed.

459
00:22:21,900 --> 00:22:22,258
Or in the kitchen.

460
00:22:22,341 --> 00:22:24,843
-Were you in my bedroom just now?
-[gasps]

461
00:22:25,553 --> 00:22:27,680
Dad, what'd you do with Freckles?

462
00:22:27,763 --> 00:22:30,724
Hello, Bean. Did you miss me?

463
00:22:30,808 --> 00:22:31,684
Whoa!

464
00:22:31,767 --> 00:22:33,269
Dad, this ain't good.

465
00:22:33,352 --> 00:22:36,630
But if you could just keep trying,
I know you can get better.

466
00:22:36,146 --> 00:22:38,857
That's not possible. I mean, look at me.

467
00:22:39,483 --> 00:22:41,360
No, look at me.

468
00:22:42,152 --> 00:22:44,321
I'm just a flabby husk of a man.

469
00:22:44,405 --> 00:22:46,949
I can't barely honk no more.

470
00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:51,328
[honks faintly] See? I would've loved
to be the hero of the story,

471
00:22:51,412 --> 00:22:55,666
but now, I can't even hold a spoon.
I'm afraid of 'em now.

472
00:22:55,749 --> 00:22:59,587
Remember when I gave myself
all them genius awards?

473
00:22:59,670 --> 00:23:02,423
I'm glad those awards
ain't around to see this.

474
00:23:03,257 --> 00:23:06,176
Even you know I'm already gone, Beanie.

475
00:23:06,260 --> 00:23:09,471
You can't be gone, Dad. I need you. Here.

476
00:23:09,555 --> 00:23:13,475
And I need you.
Here! You can do this, Beanie.

477
00:23:13,559 --> 00:23:16,937
Do what?
Dad, no, please don't ask me this.

478
00:23:17,210 --> 00:23:21,609
If I don't go away now,
I may never be able to come back.

479
00:23:21,692 --> 00:23:23,402
But who will take care of the kingdom?

480
00:23:23,485 --> 00:23:26,710
Dad, I can't… I can't do it on my own.

481
00:23:26,155 --> 00:23:29,740
Oh, Beanie, you already are.

482
00:23:29,158 --> 00:23:31,744
You've been doin' it this whole time.

483
00:23:34,663 --> 00:23:36,915
Thanks for being my dad, okay?

484
00:23:36,999 --> 00:23:39,168
I've had a lot of people
leave me in my life,

485
00:23:39,251 --> 00:23:42,546
but I've never ever ever
not had you before.

486
00:23:42,630 --> 00:23:46,175
Your stupid, rude,
yelling face was always there.

487
00:23:46,258 --> 00:23:47,718
So come back, okay?

488
00:23:48,302 --> 00:23:50,554
Be a good queenie, Beanie.

489
00:23:50,638 --> 00:23:53,557
For me. And for me.

490
00:23:54,580 --> 00:23:55,934
[Odval] And for the kingdom.

491
00:23:56,180 --> 00:23:57,811
What say you, Princess?

492
00:23:59,563 --> 00:24:01,815
My dad needs to go away for a while.

493
00:24:10,366 --> 00:24:12,117
[donkey braying]

494
00:24:12,743 --> 00:24:14,203
It's time to go, Dad.

495
00:24:23,879 --> 00:24:25,470
[sad music playing]

496
00:24:52,282 --> 00:24:53,283
[sighs in contentment]

497
00:24:54,535 --> 00:24:57,287
-Ah!
-Hi, I'm Chazzzzz.

498
00:24:57,371 --> 00:25:01,709
I'll be your donkey cart driver
and tour guide for the next 23 hours.

499
00:25:01,792 --> 00:25:04,378
I warn you,
the ride may get a little bumpy.

500
00:25:04,461 --> 00:25:09,466
For your own safety, keep your arms
and legs inside the wagon at all times.

501
00:25:09,550 --> 00:25:10,968
I have a machete.

502
00:25:11,510 --> 00:25:12,553
Ah!

503
00:25:12,636 --> 00:25:16,560
[honking and babbling]

504
00:25:22,620 --> 00:25:23,981
[all] Our Queen.

505
00:25:26,358 --> 00:25:28,777
[closing theme music playing]